Comments on: 10 Ways to Pull Off the Perfect Disagreement http://discoveringdad.net/10-ways-to-pull-off-the-perfect-disagreement/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=10-ways-to-pull-off-the-perfect-disagreement Learning what it means to be a good Dad Thu, 26 Jan 2012 09:12:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: B. Wilde http://discoveringdad.net/10-ways-to-pull-off-the-perfect-disagreement/comment-page-1/#comment-2489 B. Wilde Thu, 25 Sep 2008 21:03:24 +0000 http://discoveringdad.net/?p=826#comment-2489 Such sage wisdom. Listen. Listen more. Listen some more. That one is the most important that I so easily forget. Taking a vacation is a little technique that my wife and I use. When we find we're not getting anywhere in a disagreement or the other person is no longer in the right place to continue the discussion, we agree to table the issue - take a vacation from it, set our feelings aside and come back to it. The emotion associated with the issue diminishes over time and makes the discussion easier to finish after a little break. Sometime hours, sometimes days. The important thing is to agree on the length of vacation or else a second disagreement will emerge that one of you is trying to avoid resolving the disagreement. Such sage wisdom. Listen. Listen more. Listen some more. That one is the most important that I so easily forget.

Taking a vacation is a little technique that my wife and I use. When we find we’re not getting anywhere in a disagreement or the other person is no longer in the right place to continue the discussion, we agree to table the issue – take a vacation from it, set our feelings aside and come back to it. The emotion associated with the issue diminishes over time and makes the discussion easier to finish after a little break. Sometime hours, sometimes days. The important thing is to agree on the length of vacation or else a second disagreement will emerge that one of you is trying to avoid resolving the disagreement.

]]> By: orlund http://discoveringdad.net/10-ways-to-pull-off-the-perfect-disagreement/comment-page-1/#comment-2487 orlund Thu, 25 Sep 2008 19:30:14 +0000 http://discoveringdad.net/?p=826#comment-2487 Good post. I hate confrontation and avoid it any way I can. On the other had I love to debate with people but only on specific issues and only when it is a debate that in the end doesn't really matter. But on real issues I have to work hard at confronting. Good post. I hate confrontation and avoid it any way I can. On the other had I love to debate with people but only on specific issues and only when it is a debate that in the end doesn’t really matter. But on real issues I have to work hard at confronting.

]]> By: Matt http://discoveringdad.net/10-ways-to-pull-off-the-perfect-disagreement/comment-page-1/#comment-2483 Matt Thu, 25 Sep 2008 17:14:07 +0000 http://discoveringdad.net/?p=826#comment-2483 I disagree with everything you've written, Chris. Just kidding. I think the MOST important point on your list is number 6. I read in a book somewhere a long time ago that most arguments, by the time they are over, become about HOW the other person is arguing and not WHAT the other person is arguing about. That struck a chord with me and I realized it was completely true in my case. If someone was over-animated and shouting, it pissed me off and I started to do the same. Now, I try to remain calm no matter what happens, and surprisingly it has a pretty positive effect most of the time. I disagree with everything you’ve written, Chris.

Just kidding. I think the MOST important point on your list is number 6. I read in a book somewhere a long time ago that most arguments, by the time they are over, become about HOW the other person is arguing and not WHAT the other person is arguing about. That struck a chord with me and I realized it was completely true in my case. If someone was over-animated and shouting, it pissed me off and I started to do the same. Now, I try to remain calm no matter what happens, and surprisingly it has a pretty positive effect most of the time.

]]> By: Dad of Divas http://discoveringdad.net/10-ways-to-pull-off-the-perfect-disagreement/comment-page-1/#comment-2476 Dad of Divas Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:39:27 +0000 http://discoveringdad.net/?p=826#comment-2476 Too true Charlie! I have found myself doing that exact thing with my wife unfortunately at times, and it never gets either uof us to a place where we can move forward productively...that's for sure! Too true Charlie! I have found myself doing that exact thing with my wife unfortunately at times, and it never gets either uof us to a place where we can move forward productively…that’s for sure!

]]> By: Dad of Divas http://discoveringdad.net/10-ways-to-pull-off-the-perfect-disagreement/comment-page-1/#comment-2475 Dad of Divas Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:37:41 +0000 http://discoveringdad.net/?p=826#comment-2475 Well...that could work as well.... depending on your family situation :-) Look forward to hearing people's thoughts on this one! Well…that could work as well…. depending on your family situation :-) Look forward to hearing people’s thoughts on this one!

]]>