This article written by Contributing Writer Daniel De Guia.

Last April my wife and I received an unexpected reality check:  We were pregnant.  Again.

I’ll be honest with you, it took us a few weeks to warm up to the idea of a third child. We were happy with the two children, and the even numbers made it easy for my wife and I to divide and conquer when it came to bed time and other parental routines.

Early in the pregnancy, though, our anxiety turned into excitement, and our worry turned into a focus on our children to prepare them for the arrival of the new baby.

Here are five things we did that I feel had the biggest impact in preparing them for their new sibling:

• Babies are busy little bees – Our doctors gave us a poster that outlines the baby’s development month-by-month. We brought it home and hung it on the fridge. Our kids began looking forward to the new month, so that they could turn the page and see what their new brother or sister would be doing over those next four weeks. If you cannot find one to hang on your fridge, Sutter Health has a great Cliff’s Notes version of this.

• One-on-one time – We always tried to spend time with each of our kids one-on-one but after finding out about the new baby, we made an even bigger effort. We explained to my in-laws how important it was that the kids continue to have quality time with us, as well as with their grandparents, during the pregnancy as attention began to swing toward the new arrival. We did this so that the kids would know that even after the baby was born, their entire world would not come to and end.    During these “dates” with our kids, we would talk with them about their worries regarding the new baby. We let them know that they were free to say what they wanted and open up to us with their emotions. Through this process, we also were able to share our own worries about a new baby. They both came to understand that a new baby really is a big deal but that, as a family, we would adapt and welcome the new baby with love and care.

• The freedom to choose – We let them be as involved (or not) as they wanted with the pregnancy. All of our pregnancies have been handled through a birthing center, staffed by licensed nurses and doctors who happen to follow midwifery/natural birthing practices. Because of this, they’re more accepting of involving our kids. They let our youngest help with the hand-held heart monitoring equipment, dedicated an entire appointment to showing the kids with the birthing center itself and gave them a kid-friendly overview of child birth.When our son was born, our daughter came into the room with us when she felt comfortable doing so. This was usually to check on her mom, pat a washcloth on her forehead and tell her “You’re doing a good job, Mommy!” She even had the opportunity to cut her baby brother’s umbilical cord.

• Don’t keep them in the dark – We wrote up a birth plan, reviewed it with our family members and also talked to the kids about it. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what a birth plan is, it’s a formal request of certain things during the labor and care for the baby after birth. Our birth plan contains things such as family members we welcome to attend the birth; stipulating that, per my wife, painkillers were not to be administered unless she specifically asked for them; and who was going to be caring for our children. The kids have known for months who will be with them during the labor so they are not worried about being overlooked or forgotten in the chaos. For more information about birth plans, click here. If you would like to see a copy of our birth plan, feel free to email me.

• “A person’s a person, no matter how small.” – Dr. Seuss wrote it and kids respond to it. When their mom started showing, the kids seemed a bit stand-offish about the thing growing and moving inside their mom’s belly. We helped them get comfortable with the notion by talking to the baby. I give my wife’s belly a kiss and talk to it when I get up in the morning, when I go to work and when I come home, just as I do with them. Slowly but surely the kids began to talk to the baby, too. Even though they haven’t been able to see or hold their new sibling, the kids already feel a connection to it and have begun to proactively establish a relationship with their new brother or sister.

Please feel free to share your tips on how to prepare kids for the arrival of a new baby in the house too!

Daniel De Guia is a Contributing Writer for Discovering Dad.  His personal site is deguia.net. You can also connect with Daniel via Twitter @deguia.

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