Avoiding Chaotic Meals
This article written by Contributing Writer Daniel De Guia.
Mealtime at our house is, to be completely honest, my least favorite time of the day. By the time I’ve finished working all day and have battled through evening rush hour traffic, the last thing I want to deal with at home is more chaos. It’s taken a long time, but my wife and I have come up with some ways that work well for our family to make dinner time a little bit more relaxed and less anxious.
- 15 minutes of clean - Depending on the state of the main living area, we’ll have everybody to spend 15 minutes putting toys back in bedrooms, picking up books, putting away DVDs and CDs, or just de-cluttering in general. Myself or my wife will cook dinner while the others help clean up. This not only gets the house tidy, but can also help the kids burn off a little of that extra energy with all those trips up and down the stairs. That means, less fidgeting during dinner.
- “The besta parta day” - When the kids are in extra talkative moods, we help them settle down and remember to wait patiently by going around the table and asking each other “What was the best part of your day?” (or, as my son says “What the besta parta day?”) This little game helps force the kids to be patient and listen. It also lets us all take part in the high points of each others day. Sometimes, asking that one question will turn into a conversation of how to handle situations at school which we may not have known about without this open table discussion.
- Put those kids to work! - When the kid’s energy tanks are full, we let them help set the table. Our oldest puts the cups, plates and utensils on the table, while our youngest helps put napkins and condiments on the table. We let them set the table however they want. They (usually) work together to decide where each person sits and, in the end, they both feel accomplished and our compliments score points which seem to pay off if we need to ask them to calm down during mealtime.
- Silence is golden - When we really need just a few minutes of silence to compose ourselves and get back into the right frame of mind, the “Quiet Game” will sometimes give us those few minutes.
- When you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em - Some nights, despite our tenacious efforts, the kids simply overpower us. In cases like this, we put on some upbeat music and crank it up a bit. Once the kids hear the catchy tunes of Motown oldies, Santana or the Dave Matthews Band, they stop talking, start eating and boogie & groove in their seats. Sometimes all you can do is harness their energy into something less aggravating.
Do you have any other tips for how to control energy levels during mealtime?
Daniel De Guia is a Contributing Writer for Discovering Dad. His personal site is deguia.net. You can also connect with Daniel via Twitter @deguia.
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Comment by Mr Lady on 21 November 2008:
Daniel, I love it! We use all of those tricks. I find just turning the tv of 15 minutes before does wonders, too! And my kids are old enough to actually cook, so that helps. The besta parta is part of our every night dinner rountine. We take turns talking about the best thing we learned in school everyday. It focuses them and lets me have a glimpse into their day.
Great post!
Comment by tom on 21 November 2008:
This is great stuff!
In our house, I have to turn off the TV during dinner time so we can actually hold a conversation.
I’ve learned to put the kids to work helping out with dinner, that’s a great strategy. One of my daughters actually enjoys helping me prepare dinner, and is learning some great cooking skills as well.
I like the idea of asking them about their day, that’s a keeper.
Comment by orlund on 21 November 2008:
I like your “The besta parta day”. Only my wife and I do that right now while my daughter spits out her mashed parsnips ever where.
Comment by 1sttimedad on 21 November 2008:
They say yelling really loud works too …
I’m just kidding of course.
My daughter is just 16 month old, so we do more chasing and rolling around on the floor than actual talking (although she has a better vocabulary than me on many a Saturday nights - in my younger days), but I like your ideas for generating conversation and teaching responsibility for housework, etc.
Cheers!
Comment by Nicole on 25 November 2008:
Great tips! We have our 3 year old help “cook” if possible and that helps, too. I was thinking this gets easier, but maybe it doesn’t! LOL We go around and ask each other how our days were, but I like the “besta parta day” idea. Makes us all focus on the positive. Thanks!
Comment by Treemama on 30 November 2008:
We have question of the night and mine is always the same, “what was the best part of your day and what was the worst part of your day?”, the girls roll their eyes, but they always can’t wait to tell me.
Some nights we groove, others it’s quiet. Depends on the overall mood in the house.
The most important part is there though. All of you eating together.
Comment by Clint on 10 December 2008:
Duct tape and a solid chair do the job
The besta parta day - great idea. We do something similar. We do a round table and ask everyone to say something they are grateful for. My 2 year old, of course, has no idea what gratitude is, but he happily plays along. For the past 2 weeks we ask him “Graeme, what are you grateful for?” and his reply is always the same - “tigers”.
One other thing we do is try to have as much meal prep done ahead of time. We often spend weekends cooking pots of soup and stews that are easy to freeze and reheat. Still home cooked, but quick and easy.
Comment by B.Wilde on 18 December 2008:
We have five kids and meal times can be out-of-control sometimes. We have a job chart on the fridge that rotates every day. Every kid has an assignment for dinner, that they hate, but keeps them busy and involved. I can relate to, “if you can’t beat-em, join-em.” We do this frequently and it makes for a fun dinner. Sometimes it gets tense though and everything falls apart. I guess the joys of family dinner are the good and the bad moments–like when the two year old spills her milk for the 40th time.