I’d like to thank all of the dads who played in the league this year, and I’d definitely recommend visiting their blogs when you get a chance:

Pat from Annoyingly Boring?

Richard (team name Karma Police)

James from Daddyshack

Jeff from Daddy’s Toolbox

Whit from Honea Express

Ed from Little m Long a

Russ from Dads Who Mock the World (Russ and I met in the Championship this year – Great Game Man!)

Kevin (St. Paul Strikeforce)

Chris (FR8 MOVER)

Now that Discovering Dad won the Dad League Championship, I highly recommend that you all “Discover the Ravens” in the Playoffs next week as they whoop up on Pat’s Patriots!!!!

Also, if any of you Dad bloggers want to join the league next year, stop over at Annoyingly Boring and beg Pat to let you in!  I’m already planning my strategy to win again next season!

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I’m exhausted after a long day at work. All I want to do is go home and relax.  As a parent, though, my day is not done when work is over.  Parenting is my second full-time job.  I am on duty 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.  It’s challenging to maintain a balanced life with so many competing priorities at work and home. Every once in a while, I need a break from things to recharge my batteries and find that balance.

For my wife and I, we each have a scheduled night out of the house every week. We get this night to do things like grab a few drinks with friends or go to a local bookstore and flip through a book in relative silence. The point is that we each get one night out for a few hours where we don’t have to concentrate on being a spouse or a parent.  It’s nice to just be Daniel during this time.

This helps maintain the harmony of our household in a few ways:

Freedom

As Mel Gibson said in Braveheart, “They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our FREEDOM!” Okay, so it’s not quite that dramatic, but as parents it’s easy to get caught up in the routine.  Before you know it, you haven’t talked to or even seen your friends in months. My friends keep me grounded and sane. They’re always there to make me laugh and help me unwind. Even when things are somber and tumultuous, they are there for me.  It helps to have this freedom to spend a few hours away from home and with friends each week.

Time with Friends = a Healthier, Happier Marriage

This may sound counter-productive to some and spot-on to others, but I’ve seen and experienced the correlation between spending a few hours with friends each week and a healthier marriage.  It helps my life to feel more balanced, which in turn helps me relate to my wife in a more loving manner.

Here’s an example: I went to public school and my wife was home schooled. I had a lot of friends from school, whereas she had a much smaller group of friends.  We got married at a young age, not too long after graduation, and quickly became knee-deep in family stuff. My friends were a phone call away when I needed to hang out or talk. In my wife’s case, she didn’t have many people to call upon. When I would go out with friends, even after clearing it with her beforehand, there was understandably some jealousy and, possibly, even resentment on a subconscious level.  Once my wife found some people she really connected with and became good friends, she understood how important it was to have these kinds of relationships to balance out our lives.

You Have Something to Look Forward To

Let’s be honest now. In the day-to-day routine of family life and work, sometimes you just need that one different activity to look forward to, just to get you through those unusually tough weeks. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of things I look forward to doing at home, like playing with the kids, reading to them, and spending time with my wife, but I also look forward to having a little time to do something for myself.

The Kids Learn That Mommy and Daddy Need Friends Too

I think it’s healthy for children to know that, just as they have friends they like to “play” with, so does mommy and daddy. Granted, I don’t expect many of us still have slumber parties at our “BFF’s” house.

It’s important for kids to know that parents are people too, with friends who they actually like to hang out with on occasion.  In my mind, it’s a mistake not to demonstrate to kids the value of having healthy friendships as adults. I don’t want my kids to think being a parent means having no friends.

So, even if it’s only on a monthly basis, I definitely recommend scheduling some free time for yourself to be alone or to hang out with friends. Taking time to tap out will help you recharge and add balance to your life.

My children know that when Thursday evening comes around, that’s my night to go hang out with friends.

What about you?  Do you have a certain time each week or month that you tap out or spend time alone?  What do you do during that time?  What’s the effect it has on your life – good or bad? Do you agree or disagree with scheduling a break for yourself each week?  Leave a comment with your thoughts.

Daniel De Guia is a Contributing Writer for Discovering Dad.  His personal site is deguia.net. You can also connect with Daniel via Twitter @deguia.

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Father/Dad

“Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad.” -Anne Geddes

“It is much easier to become a father than to be one.” -Kent Nerburn

“One father is worth more than a hundred Schoolmasters.” -George Herbert

“Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!” -Lydia M. Child

“Bringing a child into the world is the greatest act of hope there is.” -Louise Hart

“A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.” -Unknown

“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” -Charles Wadsworth

“I’m a father; that’s what matters most. Nothing matters more.” -Gordon Brown

Parenting/Key Responsibilities

“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” -Sigmund Freud

“The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.” -Confucius

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” -David O. McKay

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” -Jim Valvano

“When I was a kid, my father told me every day, ‘You’re the most wonderful boy in the world, and you can do anything you want to.’” -Jan Hutchins

“A little praise goes a great ways.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Cannot we let [children] be themselves, and enjoy life in their own way? You are trying to make another you. One’s enough.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

“So long as little children are allowed to suffer, there is no true love in this world.” -Isadora Duncan

“Our children give us the opportunity to become the parents we always wished we’d had.” -Louise Hart

“Never do for a child what he is capable of doing for himself.” -Elizabeth G. Hainstock

“There are times when parenthood seems like nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.” -Peter de Vries

“The most assiduous task of parenting is to divine the difference between boundaries and bondage.” -Barbara Kingsolver

“Reading to children at night, responding to their smiles with a smile, returning their vocalizations with one of your own, touching them, holding them – all of these further a child’s brain development and future potential, even in the earliest months.” -T. Berry Brazelton

“Only by being permitted to experience the consequences of his actions will the child acquire a sense of responsibility; and within the limits marked by the demands of his safety this must be done.” -Robert Lindner

“He who does not teach his son an occupation is as one who has taught his son to rob.” -Talmud

“How true Daddy’s words were when he said, ‘All children must look after their own upbringing.’ Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a [child's] character lies in their own hands.” -Anne Frank

“It is my pleasure that my children are free and happy, and unrestrained by parental tyranny. Love is the chain whereby to bind a child to its parents.” -Abraham Lincoln

Understanding & Dealing with the Kids

“Disobedience is the infant’s first step toward autonomy.” -Lewis Mumford

“A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.” -Mark Twain

“The toddler craves independence but…fears desertion.” -Dorothy Corkville Briggs

“There must always be a struggle between a father and son, while one aims at power and the other at independence.” -Samuel Johnson

“No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings.” -William Blake

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” -James Baldwin

“The defects of the children mirror the defects of the parents.” -Herbert Spencer

“Tiny children want to learn to the degree that they are unable to distinguish learning from fun. They keep this attitude until we adults convince them that learning is not fun.” -Glenn Doman

“It is not attention that the child is seeking but love.” -Sigmund Freud

“What causes adolescents to rebel is not the assertion of authority but the arbitrary use of power, with little explanation of the rules and no involvement in the decision-making.” -Laurence Steinberg and Ann Levine

“Let your child be the teenager he or she wants to be, not the adolescent you were or wish you had been.” -Laurence Steinberg and Ann Levine

“Children love repetition, but not when it’s overdone. They will lose interest if you progress too slowly, and if you go too quickly the materials will be beyond their comprehension.” -Elizabeth G. Hainstock

“If we continually try to force a child to do what he is afraid to do, he will become more timid, and will use his brains and energy not to explore the unknown, but to find ways to avoid pressures we put on him.  If, however, we are careful not to push a child beyond the limits of his courage, he is almost sure to get braver.” -John Holt

“If for only half an hour a day, a child should do something serviceable to the community.” -George Bernard Shaw

“What the father kept silent the son speaks out.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

“If there is anything we wish to change in our children, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.” -Carl G. Jung

“Because children see parents as authority figures and gods, they think that the way you treat them is the way they deserve to be treated: ‘What you say about me is what I am’ is a literal truth to your child. Consequently, when children are treated with respect, they conclude that they deserve respect and hence develop self-respect.” -Stephanie Marston

“Honor your father and your mother.” -Moses

“Children thrive when parents set before them increasingly difficult, but always meetable, challenges.” -Unknown

Relating to Mom & Family

“Many men can make a fortune, but very few can build a family.” -J.S. Bryan

“It takes a family to raise a child.” -Bob Dole

“It takes a village to raise a child.” -African proverb

“My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, ‘You’re tearing up the grass.’ ‘We’re not raising grass,’ Dad would reply. ‘We’re raising boys.’” -Harmon Killebrew

“In a democratic family, those with superior knowledge and resources (i.e. power) use them to strengthen others in the family. In an authoritarian family, power is used to ‘tame’ and control others.” -Letty Cottin Pogrebin

“School is an invaluable adjunct to the home, but it is a wretched substitute for it.” -Theodore Roosevelt

“Come mothers and fathers throughout the land, and don’t criticize what you can’t understand. Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command – your old road is rapidly agin’.  Please get out of the new one if you can’t lend your hand, for the times they are a-chagin’.” -Bob Dylan

“Blood’s thicker than water, and when one’s in trouble best to seek a relative’s open arms.” -Euripides

“The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.” -Thomas Jefferson

“There’s no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower

Values & Being a Role Model

“The greatest gifts my parents gave to me…were their unconditional love and a set of values.” -Colin Powell

“Children have more need of models than of critics.” -Joseph Joubert

“Never lose your temper, except intentionally.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower

“Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.” -Benjamin Franklin

“When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, an hundred.” -Thomas Jefferson

“Patience is the greatest of all virtues.” -Dionysius Cato

“Virtue consists in actions, and not in words.” -William Godwin

“Take more pleasure in giving what is best to another than in having it for yourself, and then all the world will love you.” -Thomas Jefferson

“When our kids are young, many of us rush out to buy a cute little baby book to record the meaningful events of our young child’s life…but I’ve often thought there should be a second book, one with room to record the moral milestones of our child’s lives.” -Fred G. Gosman

“If you want a sense of personal values we should be communicating to children…Healthy societies send signals to their children and to those who have become temporarily confused at any age.” -Newt Gingrich

“Respect yourself if you would have others respect you.” -Baltasar Gracian

“True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself.” -Henry Miller

“What does not kill me makes me stronger.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

Dad Humor

“A father carries pictures where his money used to be.” -Unknown

“Two little girls, on their way home from Sunday school, were solemnly discussing the lesson. ‘Do you believe there is a devil?’ asked one. ‘No,’ said the other promptly. ‘It’s like Santa Claus: it’s your father.’” -Ladies’ Home Journal

“There are three stages of a man’s life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus.” -Unknown

“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” -Bill Cosby

“Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions – because they know all the answers.” -Evan Esar

“Always obey your parents, when they are present.” -Mark Twain

“The father is always the Republican toward his son, and his mother’s always a Democrat.” -Robert Frost

“When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.’” -Jerry Lewis

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” -Mark Twain

“Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.” -Red Buttons

I hope you found this collection of quotes and ideas to be a good resource.  My goal was to share key thoughts that inspire me to learn more about what it means to be a good Dad.

What is your favorite quote that inspires you to be a better dad/parent? Please add it in the comments!

If you like this article, please take a minute to Bookmark this on Delicious or Stumble it!

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My oldest, Chani, is 14-years-old. She likes to stay up late and sleep in until noon. I remember those days. I stayed up creating Dungeons & Dragons adventures or playing Atari, whereas Chani likes to Instant Message, chat with friends and play XBox. At times, I worry about her use of the Internet, especially with those exposes on all the perverts using MySpace. I’ve set rules for Chani’s use of the computer, and I trust her not talk to people she doesn’t know. This is an issue, though, that I think causes all parents of teenagers to lose a little sleep over.

I’m very proud of Chani, as she is a great student and good helper with her younger siblings. She loves to play with Ty and chase him around the house, and I can already tell that she will be a great source of advice and inspiration to Caitlin. Chani does have a boyfriend though, and that is definitely something that keeps me awake at night. It’s hard not to feel protective of “daddy’s angel.”

My son, Ty, recently turned 2-years-old. He is a little tank. Unfortunately, lately, he has become a little destructo tank. I don’t think a minute goes by where he doesn’t bang, hit, pull, break or slam something. Don’t get me wrong, he is still an incredibly happy and loving boy, and he does not have a problem telling us what he wants or needs. He just likes to play rough with his toys and people. My wife Lori says that this is because of me (I wrestle and play rough with him often). Today, Ty took a header down four steps, and yesterday he ran head first into a door frame. All of his current antics are enough to drive any parent crazy, and yes, it does make it harder for me to sleep at night worrying about him falling out of the big boy bed AGAIN!

On top of his usual rambunctiousness, Ty has an ear infection. He doesn’t have a fever; however, we noticed that his balance seemed slightly off (he kept running into things) and there was green slime in his ear three days in a row. So, any parents out there remember the last time your child had an ear infection? Did you get much sleep? I didn’t think so – me either!

My youngest, Caitlin, just turned 7-weeks-old. She was born almost six weeks early, and then she spent four weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit fighting off a severe infection. As I wrote about during the process, it was extremely stressful, and Lori and I did not get much sleep during those four weeks.

Now that Caitlin is home, we’ve been trying to work out a schedule that works for her and us. The problem with schedules is that you need to be able to reinforce activities consistently. It’s a little hard to do when you’ve had different family members visiting the house all of the time and wanting to hold the baby, but hey, family is worth it, right!?! In addition, I’ve had to defer a lot of my workload to the late night/early morning hours in order to get caught up.

Basically, our grand master plan has become: Jeremy stays up late with the kids and puts them down, while Lori gets up early with the kids and feeds them. How’s the plan working? Great, except that I haven’t been to bed before 4:00 a.m. in weeks (and I always get up by 10:00 a.m. to do shower time with Ty). This is not a sustainable plan, and we both know it. When Lori’s maternity leave end, then I will need to get up and go to bed much earlier.

So, I’ve averaged five hours of sleep per night, and it is starting to catch-up with me. For example, earlier today I was writing a Twitter message and I fell asleep around the 100th character. It also takes twice as long as normal to write a blog post with only one eye open.

What have I done to overcome this constant state of feeling sleep deprived?

Not much. I don’t have a bunch of wonderful tips to share with you on this one. In fact, I suck at getting enough sleep – always have. I am a classic over-achiever, and I don’t like to go to bed until every single thing on my ‘to-do’ list is done. I like to systematically work through all of the things that need to be accomplished each day, so that my brain will actually shut down when I do go to sleep.

I have been taking more vitamins and trying to eat healthy; however, I’ve had a hard time putting stuff down at night and going to bed. Then, I don’t like to sleep in too late in the mornings because the younger kids are happiest during that time.

Sleep deprivation is a common challenge to overcome for many new parents (and some old ones like me). It’s definitely not a healthy habit or situation to prolong, and I’m certain that it cuts down on my effectiveness throughout the day.

What are some tactics you recommend for overcoming this challenge of getting enough sleep? Or, is it simply something that comes with the territory of having three kids 14 years apart? Please share your thoughts.

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Then, here are it’s 2 babies (it got so big that it decided to have sex with itself):

We don’t have pets – we have plants. If we did have pets though, they may end up being food for the Aloe Monsters in our very own Little Shop of Horrors.

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