It’s a kids book about a nosey spaniel on the hunt for bones – Dinosaur Bones! He gets into lots of mischief, and much the same as my younger children he uses his imagination and ingenuity to find and build a larger than life dinosaur.

The illustrations are filled with lots of things for kids to discover while reading, kind of like the old Where’s Waldo books but not quite that busy or difficult.

If your toddlers love books as much as mine, then leave a comment with a description of your favorite pet from any time throughout your life.  Please share why this pet was your favorite and perhaps a memorable experience of him or her hunting for “dinosaurs” of their own.  You can get a second entry by writing a post about your pet on your own blog and linking back to this post.

One (1) Grand Prize winner receives:

• Autographed copy of Max Spaniel (by illustrator David Catrow)
• One (1) Jumbo kids magnifying glass

Four (4) runner-up winners will also receive a copy of the new book

Contest Duration: August 8, 2009 – August 23, 2009

Winners will be announced and notified during the week of August 24 – 30, 2009.

My favorite pet growing up was a dog named Lady.  She was hyper and loving, and she peed on the floor every time I got home.  She slept in bed with me, which my wife is not likely to believe because as an adult I developed a severe onset of allergies to animals and can now barely sleep in the same house as a cat or dog.  Lady was the best though, and she was a surprisingly good hunting dog.  She and I caught some prized chipmunks in our day, and she was better than any old cat at getting rid of field mice that wandered into our home.  Lady was my favorite pet mostly because she was a fun part of our family.

I can’t wait to read about your favorite pet stories!

Leave a comment now or write a post and link back to this page.

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Have you ever noticed how easy it is for many women to make friends of other women? Most seem to be innately tuned into the social steps necessary to establish and maintain relationships. Men on the other hand, not so much.

I, for one, can honestly say it is not easy for me to develop friendships with other men. I don’t understand the proper male bonding etiquette, topics of discussion and how to get past that initial awkward moment of meeting. Do I enjoy sports, sure, but do I watch all sports, not on your life, especially with two toddlers running around. So when I start a discussion and other guys start talking about trades between teams, the RBI of this player, the number of sacks in a previous game or who scored the winning goal last night, I sometimes find myself simply nodding and hoping I am affirming in the right spots.  I don’t like this uncomfortable game of just “playing along” though.  It makes me wonder if these men are involved in their kids/family life at all – how do they find the time to watch sports and spend time with the kids?

This is the same when it comes to other male past times. My father was not a do-it-yourselfer. He was more of a hire-it-out kind of guy, and I tend to follow in his footsteps for better or worse. Over the years, I have learned to be slightly more handy than my dad, mostly because my father-in-law is one of those guys who can build, fish, fix cars and repair most things around the house.  I try and learn through osmosis from him, but when someone brings this up as a topic of conversation, I am at a loss for words once again.

So, My question for all of you guys is, how do you do it? We just recently moved back to Michigan from being outside of the State for three years. We moved to a new area where we have never lived, and though I have friends in other parts of the State, I don’t have any guy friends and my wife and I haven’t been able to make many couple friends either.

I can think of a few ideas to meet people where I won’t feel completely at a loss: Join a church group, sports league, singing group, or take up an adult pastime, but I’m not sure I have the time.  Again, what are some things that you do to make new man friends?  And once you do make a new friend, how do you maintain that friendship?

For me, it is making calls, dropping emails or Facebook messages, getting together for a drink or having a cook out.

I believe it is very important to remember that not only are you a husband and father, but also a human being who needs to have real adult friendships.  The problem with men, though, is that this is not second nature to us like it is for our wives.

So, what do you do to make friends like a man?  I look forward to your thoughts on the matter!

Chris Lewis is a Contributing Writer for Discovering Dad.  His personal site is Dad of Divas.  You can also follow Chris on Twitter @dadofdivas. Chris is also working on project called The Great Minivan Trade Up – check it out too.

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The Discovering Dad Blog Carnival is a monthly carnival that includes fun and informative posts about unique experiences, perspectives and challenges of being a dad. It also includes posts that talk about the impact of dads on the lives of children, spouses and family members, as well as some general parenting posts of interest.

Editor’s Pick: Mocha Dad presents Mocha Dad » Learning to Love posted at Mocha Dad.  This is a very powerful post and important for every dad to read.  It’s not enough just to feel love for your kids, you need to express it and let them hear you say it.

Vincent @ The Dad Jam presents Toddlers, Terrible Twos, Obedience and Negotiation | Parenting – The Dad Jam posted at Parenting – The Dad Jam.

SciFi Dad presents Lucky Man and I Love You Baby Boy from Tales From the Dad Side.

Mac presents Bourne Ultimatum Toddler Edition posted at Actorlicious, saying, “Daddy made a star out of 2 year old Ethan Silver. Ethan is Bourne reborn…”

Ian Peatey presents Meeting Tom posted at Quantum Learning – nonviolent living.

Kevin presents Long Distance/Virtual Parenting posted at More4kids.

Darryl Rodgers presents Letters from Dad posted at The Adventurous Boys’ Hideout.

Anmol Mehta presents Yoga for Kids Guidelines & Benefits posted at Mastery of Meditation, Enlightenment and Kundalini Yoga, saying, “Important guidelines you should know before teaching your child kids yoga.”

Josh presents I vanish into the dark and rise above my station posted at Raging Dad, saying, “This post is about how I rely on music as a way to escape from the madness of parenting three kids, and remind myself that there is still a creative part of my brain that works, and hungers for attention.”

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Discovering Dad Blog Carnival using our carnival submission form. Submission deadlines are the 28th of every month.

If you’d like to stay updated on new articles at Discovering Dad, please Subscribe to My Feed.

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This week’s spotlight shines on Chris Lopez of Fit and Busy Dad.  Chris is a father of four and fitness expert, and I’ve been excited to get to know him better over the past several months.  He is the author of the new Fitness for Dads series here on Discovering Dad, and I wanted to give readers a chance to get to know Chris a little better.

Tell a little about yourself. My name is Chris Lopez (a.k.a. The FitAndBusyDad). I’m happily married to Rozanne (yes, you spell that with a “Z”), my wife of 8 years. I’m dad to 4 beautiful daughters with very feminine names and boyish nicknames – Angelica “A.J.” (10), Josefina “Joey” (5), Francesca “Frankie” (3) and Mikaela “Mikey” (1). Nicknaming the first two was a fluke. Once a pattern was established, we said we might as well continue with the “boy” names!

I’m a FAMILY MAN before anything else, but I also run a fitness and personal training business “on the side” in Toronto, Canada.

What about your family background? I married my high school sweetheart two years after she and I had our first daughter. I was 23. She was 22. We were together for 5 years prior to that. Truthfully, things could have ended up disastrous. But, they didn’t and we’re both thankful for that. We’re thankful that, even from a young age, we were both “outside the box” and “big picture” thinkers.

Despite many objections, we both followed our passion when it came to choosing a career (for me it was the fitness industry, and my wife is a designer). That was a big deal to our families because we’re both 1st generation Canadians, so the pressure was on to finish school, succeed in a proven field (medicine, law, finance, etc) and find a job that was “secure” and made a lot of money.

Now, both being relatively successful, we try to teach our girls the importance of doing something you love and are passionate about. To set goals and aim high, but to never compromise your values and who you are as a person. I guess we figure that if it’s worked for us, it’ll probably work for them too.

What do you like most about being a dad? Nothing beats that feeling you get when you come home from work and there are 4 beautiful faces running/crawling to the door to say “Hi, Daddy!” I truly live for that moment.

A close second would be Saturday mornings after breakfast when we pack up the mini-van and head to the local farmer’s market to do our grocery shopping. Sometimes it’s the 6 of us, sometimes we let mommy sleep in, so it’s just the 4 young ladies and me. Either way, a day doesn’t go by when someone comes up to me/us and says, “Man, you have 4 girls! You must be the luckiest guy around.” It’s funny though because the women that approach us seem sincere when they say that, but the men are totally sarcastic. It’s always the same comment, just a difference in tone. (And I know exactly what the guys mean when they say I’m “lucky.” They’re really just saying, “Man, I’d hate to be in your shoes when those pretty girls of yours are all teenagers.”)

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? The most challenging thing about being a dad is finding enough one-on-one time with each one of my kids (and my wife, for that matter). In my experience, you have to make that time to reconnect with each one of your kids. That said, I try to schedule some time with each one of them for us to talk, or play or just be together. It’s pretty tough, so sometimes you just have to look for the opportunity in the most odd of situations.

For example, this past Saturday we went on a family nature walk at a local park. We found a nice open patch of grass so AJ suggested that we play catch. We took our baseball gloves out and started tossing the ball around. One missed “pop up” later and AJ is on the ground cupping her hand under her nose as the blood is gushing out. I BROKE HER NOSE.

Visibly shaken (and I’m talking about me not her), we rush off to the emergency room. Because it’s not a life or death situation, we’re there for 3 hours. So to pass the time (and by this time the bleeding has stopped), we play 10 rounds of “hang man” and talk about where we want to spend our next family vacation.

I, obviously, feel terrible about the whole thing, but I’m thankful to have been able to spend that precious time with my 10-year-old. It won’t be long until even being around her dad is the last thing she wants to do.

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? The story above about me breaking my daughter’s nose is right up there.

But the most memorable would have to be when my 4th daughter Mikey was born. Being the father of then only 3 girls, I was convinced the 4th was a boy. My wife and I had decided that this was our last one – boy or girl – so we wanted to make it a surprise.

Believe me, I did everything in my power to convince myself she was boy before she was born. I sorted through all our little girly clothes and packed them in a box taking out the lonely few pieces with a little masculinity in them – a pair of overalls and an old Chicago Bulls #23 “onesy” that I bought before AJ was born. I went shopping and bought her a pair of Baby Air Jordans, a blue UNC Tar Heels skullcap and a navy blue t-shirt that said “Who’s Your Daddy?” on the front.

So on July 30th, when she popped out, I was floored. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t unhappy. I was just stunned that I was now “That Guy.” You know, the guy with 4 daughters. There aren’t many of us out there and as of this moment, I seem to be the only one I know.

But all things aside, it’s amazing and I wouldn’t change the way things are even for a second.

Did I mention that my wife and I are talking about a 5th?

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? I think you’ll get 2 types of dads…Guys with kids, and “Dads.”

I’m a DAD before anything else.

We get a bad rap sometimes and are really still considered secondary caregivers. I think there are still a lot of “traditional” thinkers out there who think that dads should be leaving at 6am and not coming home until 7pm while they “bring home the bacon,” that we have no business child rearing or keeping house.

I’m lucky in that I’ve managed to structure my business around how I want my life to be. I still leave quite early in the morning because that is my most productive time, but I come home at 3pm every day in time to pick-up my kids, make dinner, give them a bath and read them a bedtime story.

I got a lot of flack for that from my clients who were more of the “guys with kids” types. I even had one client suggest that I hire a driver to pick my kids up from school so that I could work an extra 2-3 hours in the afternoon to be his trainer!!!

Overall though, I think times are changing. You’ll see a lot more of us at PTA meetings, cheering on the sidelines of our kids’ soccer games and just being more involved. It’s refreshing to see and somewhat comforting to know that there are others like me out there.

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? Being a dad has helped me discover that when you have more than one child, your heart doesn’t get divided in half to accommodate another, it actually grows. That was my biggest fear in having a second child – not knowing how it’s possible to love another one as much with as much intensity. Here I was a devoted dad with unconditional love for this little girl and I’m thinking to myself, how could this be any more perfect than it is?

Then Joey’s born and you love her unconditionally just as much as her sister, but different because she’s a totally different person. Your heart expands. Then it grows again with Frankie and it’s even bigger now with Mikey. It’s inexplicable, but it happens. It’s a life-changing discovery.

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? I’m pretty good, I think at least, at figuring things out on my own. But when I’m stuck, I’ll turn to my dad. It’s a little hard sometimes for him to relate because he’s a real man’s man. He was a blue-collar guy who fathered 2 boys so, when I ask him about some issues that I’m having with my daughters, he stumbles a bit. He doesn’t know it, but I’ll get a lot of advice just by listening to him tell stories about how my brother and I used to get into tons of trouble when we were young and how he handled each situation. I guess that’s an indirect form of advice.

Another great source for me is Cliff Huxtable. I grew up watching The Cosby Show as a kid and now find myself saying things that I know Cliff was saying to Theo or Vanessa back in the ‘80s. We were watching the first season on DVD a few weeks ago and Joey picked something out that Cliff said and then turned to me and said, “So that’s where you got it from!”

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? Not so much. Being 31 with a 10-year-old, for the most part of 10 years, I’ve always been the young dad. I guess it doesn’t help that I look young as well (I still get carded when I buy a bottle of wine and you have to be 19 here in Canada, not 21 like my American friends). So when I would go to her soccer games or the school barbecues, despite how much I would try to strike up conversation, I wouldn’t be paid much attention to. Maybe it was because I looked young; maybe because they didn’t think that I had much in common with them, I’m not sure.

It’s starting to change more now that those in my peer group are starting to have kids. In fact, I have a friend who I meet for coffee during the week in the afternoons who is in the same industry, runs a similar business and has a 1-year-old. We call it a “business” meeting, but truthfully we just end up talking about what our kids are doing or some other “dad” type things.

Still though, a good time for me is either being with my wife and kids, or going out for a couple of hours a week to play some pick-up basketball with my brother. We’ve got 4, so unfortunately there isn’t much time anymore for getting a drink with the boys or for poker night.

Tell a little about your website. I have a blog called The Fit And Busy Dad. It’s a blog dedicated to guys like me who are busy, pressed for time and can’t get to the gym. I tell stories about my on-going saga as father of 4 daughters in addition to offering workout, nutrition and health advice.

I’ve also written an e-Book to help dads lose weight with daily workouts that last no longer than 23-minutes. It’s basically what I do everyday to stay in shape. None of us have a lot of time and with the time that we do have, we want to spend it with our families. At the same time, however, it’s our responsibility to stay in shape and stay healthy so we need an efficient and effective solution. I think I’ve solved that issue with the book.

Anything else you’d like to share? Yes. I wrote about this on my blog and to my subscribers in my newsletter a few months ago, but I think it’s important enough to repeat.

I’ll warn you now, though. I may sound a little preachy.

I get asked a lot these days by friends, who are just starting they’re families, what it takes to be a good dad. So, here’s what I usually say…

I’ve been a parent now for 10 years, but by no means, do I consider myself an “expert” on the subject of parenting. I believe that parenting, like life, is an evolutionary process. Something that changes while you experience the world. What you do with one child, you may not do with the other and still try a different approach with the 3rd. Conversely, if you find something that works well, it’s up to you to recognize that and make sure you repeat it with each child, still remembering that each child is different and that the same approach will not always have the same effect.

Confused? I am.

BUT, there is ONE thing that I know for sure. And if you follow this advice as a parent, you are guaranteed RETURN ON YOUR INVESTMENT.

That ONE thing…

SPEND TIME WITH YOUR KIDS

That’s it. Plain and simple.

They don’t need to be programmed at a different activity 5 nights a week. They don’t need an X-Box. They don’t need to have the latest version of Barbie or American Girl or whatever it is kids are playing with these days. What they need, is time with YOU.

Spend less time working and spend more time playing with your kids. Show them that you’re around. Teach them how to cook. Have them pull weeds with you while you’re out in the garden. Kick the soccer ball around. Read the bedtime stories. Exercise with them. Be present to show them that you live a healthy life and they’ll do the same. Because you can tell them WHAT to do until you’re red in the face. But chances are, if you set the example, and they see it, they’ll follow what you do.

Come back and learn more about another involved Dad next Saturday. Make sure you don’t miss it – Subscribe to get free updates.

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published each Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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This week’s spotlight shines on Phil from A Family Runs Through It.  Phil is one of those dads that I really respect – humble, genuine, down to earth and sincere.  He’s got some great insights on being a dad, and I’m proud to have him as part of this series.

Tell a little about yourself. I’m a stay-at-home dad to two kids, ages 7 and 10. I also homeschool them, which means I have virtually no free time to myself. But that’s okay. When my wife and I first decided to have children, I knew there would be sacrifices. I just didn’t realize there would be so many!

What about your family background? My wife and I have been married 18 years. We’re happy to have had 8 years together as a couple before children entered the picture. That time, and those memories, helped us to become more content as the busy family we are today.

I’m a product of divorce. My father walked away from us when I was a young boy most in need of a male role model. I remember, even back then, promising myself that I would stay devoted to my children when I was a dad, no matter what. When my son was born, and I held him in my arms for the first time, I realized just how easy it was going to be to give him my unconditional love. And it made me seriously wonder, for the first time, why my own dad couldn’t give me his. I guess I owe my dad some credit for turning me into the attentive father I am today. It’s his bad example that drives me to be just the opposite.

What do you like most about being a dad? Teaching my kids. Even if we weren’t homeschoolers, I’d still have fun with that. Watching them discover new things about the world is a pure joy. On the flip side, it saddens me greatly to see them figure out that the world isn’t always such a nice place. But overall, I enjoy guiding them toward the positives. I want them to be optimistic and hopeful about their future.

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? I’m still trying to figure out all the little quirks my kids have. Sometimes their behavior is the complete opposite of what I predict. Like when introducing new foods, or talking to them about serious current events. I have to learn to just go in with no preconceptions.

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? Most memorable is a tough one, since we spend so much time together, but I’d have to say that one of them was the first day of homeschooling with my son, when he started third grade. He really surprised me by taking to it immediately, ready and eager to learn. I was so happy to see him re-ignite his passion for learning.

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? Just in my own view, when I meet or hear about a father who focuses more on career than family, I’m actually quite shocked. My thought is, “Hey, haven’t you heard that the times have changed? You don’t have to be at the office ten hours a day and at the golf course on Saturday. It’s okay to care about raising your children.”

I believe it is now the expectation of society for a dad, even the working ones, to do housework, take kids to the park, attend teacher conferences, shop for groceries, and all the other things that used to be labeled as “woman’s work.”

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? Yes. That I like kids. Before, I couldn’t care less and, in fact, was a bit frightened of them. Now I understand how important it is to be a role model to children, to show them how to be a responsible, caring, sensible grown-up.

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? My dad. Ha, just kidding. No, I actually go straight to the dad bloggers. In nearly five years of writing my own blog, I’ve developed an amazing circle of fellow fathers who are constantly teaching me new things through their posts and comments. That circle keeps getting bigger and bigger as I discover new dad blogs (like Discovering Dad) that have tips and tricks on how to be a better parent.

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? Nope. The working dads in my area have consistently rejected me over the years, and I’ve grown used to that. Interestingly, I’ve found that the more “manly” a dad’s job (such as construction worker or fireman), the more readily he will dismiss me for being a stay-at-home dad.

As for my fellow at-home dads, I don’t know where all the other local ones are. Sometimes I think I’m the only one in the entire state of Idaho. If I did hang out with other dads, we’d probably go to a college football game down the road in Moscow, or maybe just get a sandwich at Schlotzsky’s. Yeah, I’m boring.

Tell a little about your website. A Family Runs Through It is my blog about my life as a homeschooling stay-at-home dad in North Idaho. I started it back in 2004 to simply publicize information about family events in this area. It very quickly changed into a more personal blog about my own journey through parenthood. It also serves as a creative outlet. But what I like about it the most is that I am part of a conversation going on all over the world, between dads in every corner of the globe. It’s a small world, and I love it.

Anything else you’d like to share? You already know that being a parent is the toughest job in the world. It doesn’t matter if the mom or the dad is at home. We’re all just trying to do what’s best for our children. Next time you hear someone tear down a father who stays home with his kids, tell them not to be so clueless. There is no better way for a father to provide for his family than to step into the role of stay-at-home dad. Believe me, there are times I’d love to be sitting in an office somewhere, sipping on a latte, and having grown-up conversations about the economy. But I’m at home with the kids because it’s the best situation for the family, both in terms of finances and schedule. It may not be the best-paying job in the world, but I consider myself blessed because the rewards are better than any paycheck.

Come back and learn more about another involved Dad next Saturday. Make sure you don’t miss it – Subscribe to get free updates.

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published each Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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