Welcome to the March 2009 edition of Discovering Dad Blog Carnival.

The Discovering Dad Blog Carnival is a monthly carnival that includes fun and informative posts about unique experiences, perspectives and challenges of being a dad. It also includes posts that talk about the impact of dads on the lives of children, spouses and family members, as well as some general parenting posts of interest.

Paul Kipnes presents Sibling Rivalry: Can’t Kill ‘em so Try to Love ‘em posted at Or Am I?, saying, “tips for mellowing sibling rivalry”

OM presents Guilt posted at A Blogger and a Father, saying, “A post about the blood cord bank ads and the sense of guilt we feel because we can’t afford it or choose not to do it.”

Jacquelyn presents What is the Role of an ‘Expecting Dad’? posted at WParent.com – Wise Parenting Guide, saying, “Being a dad is a huge responsibility. Find out what you can do to help and be involved during your partner’s pregnancy.”

Concerning Kids presents Choosing The Right Pediatrician For Your Baby posted at Concerning Kids.

Jeff Tincher presents I’m Living a Groundhog’s Day posted at Daddys Toolbox.

Vee presents Thought of the day (about parenting) posted at Tom Zirpoli’s Blog.

Len Penzo presents My Kids’ Loan Interview with the Bank of Dad posted at Len Penzo . Com, saying, “Never try to out-smart your kids! ”

Kevin Heath presents Teaching Children Consideration posted at More4kids.

Nancy Miller presents How to Stay an Informed Parent Without Being a Snoop posted at Ultrasound Technician Schools.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Discovering Dad Blog Carnival using our carnival submission form. Submission deadlines are the 28th of every month.

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This week’s spotlight shines on Chris Lopez of Fit and Busy Dad.  Chris is a father of four and fitness expert, and I’ve been excited to get to know him better over the past several months.  He is the author of the new Fitness for Dads series here on Discovering Dad, and I wanted to give readers a chance to get to know Chris a little better.

Tell a little about yourself. My name is Chris Lopez (a.k.a. The FitAndBusyDad). I’m happily married to Rozanne (yes, you spell that with a “Z”), my wife of 8 years. I’m dad to 4 beautiful daughters with very feminine names and boyish nicknames – Angelica “A.J.” (10), Josefina “Joey” (5), Francesca “Frankie” (3) and Mikaela “Mikey” (1). Nicknaming the first two was a fluke. Once a pattern was established, we said we might as well continue with the “boy” names!

I’m a FAMILY MAN before anything else, but I also run a fitness and personal training business “on the side” in Toronto, Canada.

What about your family background? I married my high school sweetheart two years after she and I had our first daughter. I was 23. She was 22. We were together for 5 years prior to that. Truthfully, things could have ended up disastrous. But, they didn’t and we’re both thankful for that. We’re thankful that, even from a young age, we were both “outside the box” and “big picture” thinkers.

Despite many objections, we both followed our passion when it came to choosing a career (for me it was the fitness industry, and my wife is a designer). That was a big deal to our families because we’re both 1st generation Canadians, so the pressure was on to finish school, succeed in a proven field (medicine, law, finance, etc) and find a job that was “secure” and made a lot of money.

Now, both being relatively successful, we try to teach our girls the importance of doing something you love and are passionate about. To set goals and aim high, but to never compromise your values and who you are as a person. I guess we figure that if it’s worked for us, it’ll probably work for them too.

What do you like most about being a dad? Nothing beats that feeling you get when you come home from work and there are 4 beautiful faces running/crawling to the door to say “Hi, Daddy!” I truly live for that moment.

A close second would be Saturday mornings after breakfast when we pack up the mini-van and head to the local farmer’s market to do our grocery shopping. Sometimes it’s the 6 of us, sometimes we let mommy sleep in, so it’s just the 4 young ladies and me. Either way, a day doesn’t go by when someone comes up to me/us and says, “Man, you have 4 girls! You must be the luckiest guy around.” It’s funny though because the women that approach us seem sincere when they say that, but the men are totally sarcastic. It’s always the same comment, just a difference in tone. (And I know exactly what the guys mean when they say I’m “lucky.” They’re really just saying, “Man, I’d hate to be in your shoes when those pretty girls of yours are all teenagers.”)

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? The most challenging thing about being a dad is finding enough one-on-one time with each one of my kids (and my wife, for that matter). In my experience, you have to make that time to reconnect with each one of your kids. That said, I try to schedule some time with each one of them for us to talk, or play or just be together. It’s pretty tough, so sometimes you just have to look for the opportunity in the most odd of situations.

For example, this past Saturday we went on a family nature walk at a local park. We found a nice open patch of grass so AJ suggested that we play catch. We took our baseball gloves out and started tossing the ball around. One missed “pop up” later and AJ is on the ground cupping her hand under her nose as the blood is gushing out. I BROKE HER NOSE.

Visibly shaken (and I’m talking about me not her), we rush off to the emergency room. Because it’s not a life or death situation, we’re there for 3 hours. So to pass the time (and by this time the bleeding has stopped), we play 10 rounds of “hang man” and talk about where we want to spend our next family vacation.

I, obviously, feel terrible about the whole thing, but I’m thankful to have been able to spend that precious time with my 10-year-old. It won’t be long until even being around her dad is the last thing she wants to do.

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? The story above about me breaking my daughter’s nose is right up there.

But the most memorable would have to be when my 4th daughter Mikey was born. Being the father of then only 3 girls, I was convinced the 4th was a boy. My wife and I had decided that this was our last one – boy or girl – so we wanted to make it a surprise.

Believe me, I did everything in my power to convince myself she was boy before she was born. I sorted through all our little girly clothes and packed them in a box taking out the lonely few pieces with a little masculinity in them – a pair of overalls and an old Chicago Bulls #23 “onesy” that I bought before AJ was born. I went shopping and bought her a pair of Baby Air Jordans, a blue UNC Tar Heels skullcap and a navy blue t-shirt that said “Who’s Your Daddy?” on the front.

So on July 30th, when she popped out, I was floored. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t unhappy. I was just stunned that I was now “That Guy.” You know, the guy with 4 daughters. There aren’t many of us out there and as of this moment, I seem to be the only one I know.

But all things aside, it’s amazing and I wouldn’t change the way things are even for a second.

Did I mention that my wife and I are talking about a 5th?

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? I think you’ll get 2 types of dads…Guys with kids, and “Dads.”

I’m a DAD before anything else.

We get a bad rap sometimes and are really still considered secondary caregivers. I think there are still a lot of “traditional” thinkers out there who think that dads should be leaving at 6am and not coming home until 7pm while they “bring home the bacon,” that we have no business child rearing or keeping house.

I’m lucky in that I’ve managed to structure my business around how I want my life to be. I still leave quite early in the morning because that is my most productive time, but I come home at 3pm every day in time to pick-up my kids, make dinner, give them a bath and read them a bedtime story.

I got a lot of flack for that from my clients who were more of the “guys with kids” types. I even had one client suggest that I hire a driver to pick my kids up from school so that I could work an extra 2-3 hours in the afternoon to be his trainer!!!

Overall though, I think times are changing. You’ll see a lot more of us at PTA meetings, cheering on the sidelines of our kids’ soccer games and just being more involved. It’s refreshing to see and somewhat comforting to know that there are others like me out there.

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? Being a dad has helped me discover that when you have more than one child, your heart doesn’t get divided in half to accommodate another, it actually grows. That was my biggest fear in having a second child – not knowing how it’s possible to love another one as much with as much intensity. Here I was a devoted dad with unconditional love for this little girl and I’m thinking to myself, how could this be any more perfect than it is?

Then Joey’s born and you love her unconditionally just as much as her sister, but different because she’s a totally different person. Your heart expands. Then it grows again with Frankie and it’s even bigger now with Mikey. It’s inexplicable, but it happens. It’s a life-changing discovery.

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? I’m pretty good, I think at least, at figuring things out on my own. But when I’m stuck, I’ll turn to my dad. It’s a little hard sometimes for him to relate because he’s a real man’s man. He was a blue-collar guy who fathered 2 boys so, when I ask him about some issues that I’m having with my daughters, he stumbles a bit. He doesn’t know it, but I’ll get a lot of advice just by listening to him tell stories about how my brother and I used to get into tons of trouble when we were young and how he handled each situation. I guess that’s an indirect form of advice.

Another great source for me is Cliff Huxtable. I grew up watching The Cosby Show as a kid and now find myself saying things that I know Cliff was saying to Theo or Vanessa back in the ‘80s. We were watching the first season on DVD a few weeks ago and Joey picked something out that Cliff said and then turned to me and said, “So that’s where you got it from!”

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? Not so much. Being 31 with a 10-year-old, for the most part of 10 years, I’ve always been the young dad. I guess it doesn’t help that I look young as well (I still get carded when I buy a bottle of wine and you have to be 19 here in Canada, not 21 like my American friends). So when I would go to her soccer games or the school barbecues, despite how much I would try to strike up conversation, I wouldn’t be paid much attention to. Maybe it was because I looked young; maybe because they didn’t think that I had much in common with them, I’m not sure.

It’s starting to change more now that those in my peer group are starting to have kids. In fact, I have a friend who I meet for coffee during the week in the afternoons who is in the same industry, runs a similar business and has a 1-year-old. We call it a “business” meeting, but truthfully we just end up talking about what our kids are doing or some other “dad” type things.

Still though, a good time for me is either being with my wife and kids, or going out for a couple of hours a week to play some pick-up basketball with my brother. We’ve got 4, so unfortunately there isn’t much time anymore for getting a drink with the boys or for poker night.

Tell a little about your website. I have a blog called The Fit And Busy Dad. It’s a blog dedicated to guys like me who are busy, pressed for time and can’t get to the gym. I tell stories about my on-going saga as father of 4 daughters in addition to offering workout, nutrition and health advice.

I’ve also written an e-Book to help dads lose weight with daily workouts that last no longer than 23-minutes. It’s basically what I do everyday to stay in shape. None of us have a lot of time and with the time that we do have, we want to spend it with our families. At the same time, however, it’s our responsibility to stay in shape and stay healthy so we need an efficient and effective solution. I think I’ve solved that issue with the book.

Anything else you’d like to share? Yes. I wrote about this on my blog and to my subscribers in my newsletter a few months ago, but I think it’s important enough to repeat.

I’ll warn you now, though. I may sound a little preachy.

I get asked a lot these days by friends, who are just starting they’re families, what it takes to be a good dad. So, here’s what I usually say…

I’ve been a parent now for 10 years, but by no means, do I consider myself an “expert” on the subject of parenting. I believe that parenting, like life, is an evolutionary process. Something that changes while you experience the world. What you do with one child, you may not do with the other and still try a different approach with the 3rd. Conversely, if you find something that works well, it’s up to you to recognize that and make sure you repeat it with each child, still remembering that each child is different and that the same approach will not always have the same effect.

Confused? I am.

BUT, there is ONE thing that I know for sure. And if you follow this advice as a parent, you are guaranteed RETURN ON YOUR INVESTMENT.

That ONE thing…

SPEND TIME WITH YOUR KIDS

That’s it. Plain and simple.

They don’t need to be programmed at a different activity 5 nights a week. They don’t need an X-Box. They don’t need to have the latest version of Barbie or American Girl or whatever it is kids are playing with these days. What they need, is time with YOU.

Spend less time working and spend more time playing with your kids. Show them that you’re around. Teach them how to cook. Have them pull weeds with you while you’re out in the garden. Kick the soccer ball around. Read the bedtime stories. Exercise with them. Be present to show them that you live a healthy life and they’ll do the same. Because you can tell them WHAT to do until you’re red in the face. But chances are, if you set the example, and they see it, they’ll follow what you do.

Come back and learn more about another involved Dad next Saturday. Make sure you don’t miss it – Subscribe to get free updates.

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published each Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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©2010 Discovering Dad. All Rights Reserved.

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This week’s spotlight shines on Phil from A Family Runs Through It.  Phil is one of those dads that I really respect – humble, genuine, down to earth and sincere.  He’s got some great insights on being a dad, and I’m proud to have him as part of this series.

Tell a little about yourself. I’m a stay-at-home dad to two kids, ages 7 and 10. I also homeschool them, which means I have virtually no free time to myself. But that’s okay. When my wife and I first decided to have children, I knew there would be sacrifices. I just didn’t realize there would be so many!

What about your family background? My wife and I have been married 18 years. We’re happy to have had 8 years together as a couple before children entered the picture. That time, and those memories, helped us to become more content as the busy family we are today.

I’m a product of divorce. My father walked away from us when I was a young boy most in need of a male role model. I remember, even back then, promising myself that I would stay devoted to my children when I was a dad, no matter what. When my son was born, and I held him in my arms for the first time, I realized just how easy it was going to be to give him my unconditional love. And it made me seriously wonder, for the first time, why my own dad couldn’t give me his. I guess I owe my dad some credit for turning me into the attentive father I am today. It’s his bad example that drives me to be just the opposite.

What do you like most about being a dad? Teaching my kids. Even if we weren’t homeschoolers, I’d still have fun with that. Watching them discover new things about the world is a pure joy. On the flip side, it saddens me greatly to see them figure out that the world isn’t always such a nice place. But overall, I enjoy guiding them toward the positives. I want them to be optimistic and hopeful about their future.

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? I’m still trying to figure out all the little quirks my kids have. Sometimes their behavior is the complete opposite of what I predict. Like when introducing new foods, or talking to them about serious current events. I have to learn to just go in with no preconceptions.

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? Most memorable is a tough one, since we spend so much time together, but I’d have to say that one of them was the first day of homeschooling with my son, when he started third grade. He really surprised me by taking to it immediately, ready and eager to learn. I was so happy to see him re-ignite his passion for learning.

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? Just in my own view, when I meet or hear about a father who focuses more on career than family, I’m actually quite shocked. My thought is, “Hey, haven’t you heard that the times have changed? You don’t have to be at the office ten hours a day and at the golf course on Saturday. It’s okay to care about raising your children.”

I believe it is now the expectation of society for a dad, even the working ones, to do housework, take kids to the park, attend teacher conferences, shop for groceries, and all the other things that used to be labeled as “woman’s work.”

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? Yes. That I like kids. Before, I couldn’t care less and, in fact, was a bit frightened of them. Now I understand how important it is to be a role model to children, to show them how to be a responsible, caring, sensible grown-up.

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? My dad. Ha, just kidding. No, I actually go straight to the dad bloggers. In nearly five years of writing my own blog, I’ve developed an amazing circle of fellow fathers who are constantly teaching me new things through their posts and comments. That circle keeps getting bigger and bigger as I discover new dad blogs (like Discovering Dad) that have tips and tricks on how to be a better parent.

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? Nope. The working dads in my area have consistently rejected me over the years, and I’ve grown used to that. Interestingly, I’ve found that the more “manly” a dad’s job (such as construction worker or fireman), the more readily he will dismiss me for being a stay-at-home dad.

As for my fellow at-home dads, I don’t know where all the other local ones are. Sometimes I think I’m the only one in the entire state of Idaho. If I did hang out with other dads, we’d probably go to a college football game down the road in Moscow, or maybe just get a sandwich at Schlotzsky’s. Yeah, I’m boring.

Tell a little about your website. A Family Runs Through It is my blog about my life as a homeschooling stay-at-home dad in North Idaho. I started it back in 2004 to simply publicize information about family events in this area. It very quickly changed into a more personal blog about my own journey through parenthood. It also serves as a creative outlet. But what I like about it the most is that I am part of a conversation going on all over the world, between dads in every corner of the globe. It’s a small world, and I love it.

Anything else you’d like to share? You already know that being a parent is the toughest job in the world. It doesn’t matter if the mom or the dad is at home. We’re all just trying to do what’s best for our children. Next time you hear someone tear down a father who stays home with his kids, tell them not to be so clueless. There is no better way for a father to provide for his family than to step into the role of stay-at-home dad. Believe me, there are times I’d love to be sitting in an office somewhere, sipping on a latte, and having grown-up conversations about the economy. But I’m at home with the kids because it’s the best situation for the family, both in terms of finances and schedule. It may not be the best-paying job in the world, but I consider myself blessed because the rewards are better than any paycheck.

Come back and learn more about another involved Dad next Saturday. Make sure you don’t miss it – Subscribe to get free updates.

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published each Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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©2010 Discovering Dad. All Rights Reserved.

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This week’s spotlight shines on Elliott Kim from 21st Century Dad.  Elliott is a fun and witty dad with a creative streak.  He is a designer by trade, but he’s also designed a very unique life for himself.  Read on to learn more.

Tell a little about yourself. Some of the things I do for a living include blogging, freelance writing, photography, and internet consulting. To pay the bills, I’m a digital and print media designer specializing in business and commercial graphics.

What about your family background? Renee and I aren’t legally married, but we function as a married couple. It’s a lot easier to say, “my wife” than any other terms or explanations used to describe our relationship status. Not much about me is easy to explain. I am of Korean ancestry, but I’m even “whiter” than my wife who is of western European descent by way of Texas. I’m the beer-drinking country music fan in the house.

We have what you might call a “turnkey family.” Renee has a 14 year old son from a previous marriage, and we have a beautiful 14 month old baby girl Ariana. We started referring to her as “Twilli” online, but the name stuck. The teenager is referred to as “Au-Teen.”

What do you like most about being a dad? Becoming a dad was a major upgrade to my outlook (as opposed to Outlook) on life. Simpler pleasures reveal themselves to me. When Dorothy landed in Oz, it might have felt something like this.

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? Managing time and money is a universal struggle, but it’s amplified when you have children. We still have the same 24 hours we’ve always had each day, but it’s more fleeting and precious.

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? It really has to be the day Twilli was born. I got a text message about 10am from Renee. We hadn’t done any maternity portraits, so I hastily set up the lighting. I was taking photos in-between contractions! The day moved so slow, then it sped up dramatically. We welcomed Twilli into the world within minutes of arriving at the birth center.

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? Dads are starting to get more respect. We’re not the “other parent” anymore. This is an exciting time to be a dad. We have the power to define that role. We are in the midst of a major paradigm shift.

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? I didn’t grow up in a community with a strong Asian presence, so I was naturally singled out, picked on, teased, and even bullied. If being Asian was the reason I was treated like that by my peers, I didn’t want to have anything to do with that. I became what’s known as a “whitewashed’ Asian. I didn’t want to have anything to do with being Korean except for my love of insanely spicy food and cooking with obscene quantities of garlic.

My daughter’s arrival triggered a lot of reflection on my past and the future. I finally let go of any lingering resentments about being Korean. I became interested in exploring Korean culture again. For my daughter’s first birthday, We dressed her up in a traditional Korean hanbok. She needs the opportunity to explore that side of her.

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? I talk to other moms and dads. The advice I get from moms is just as valuable. Dads do everything but breast feed.

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? I carpool with a guy who has a 3 year old girl and another one due in December. My wife has made friends with some other stay-at-home moms. I socialize with the other dads during gatherings and play dates.

Tell a little about your website. I started 21stCenturyDad as a place where dads can go for advice, tips, and tricks. Like many parenting blogs, it slowly evolved into a personal journal. Now I split the content between the personal accounts and the stuff that appeals to NPR listeners. I occasionally contribute to 21stCenturyParenting.com, which is my wife’s blog. Before we started the parenting blogs, we had ReneeAndElliott.com. It was our first foray into blogging. I used to make fun of couples that had “we-mail” accounts. Renee had to stick it to me and register a domain.

Anything else you’d like to share? Parenting is the hardest and most gratifying work I’ve ever done. I’ve learned so much and still I feel like I know even less than I did last year.

Next week’s Spotlight on Dads – Nominations are OPEN! Come back and learn more about another involved Dad. Make sure you don’t miss it – Subscribe to get free updates.

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published each Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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©2010 Discovering Dad. All Rights Reserved.

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This week’s spotlight shines on Kevin Bushbaker from Return to Manliness.  Kevin is a relatively new adoptive father, and I admire the patience with which he and his wife waited to become parents.  The process of adopting a child has definitely instilled an added sense of appreciation in Kevin for his new and exciting role as a dad.

Tell a little about yourself. My name is Kevin Bushbaker. My wife, Gail, and I just adopted our first son, Jackson. We got Jackson almost 6 months ago as an infant. He needed love, a family and a home – we had all to give.

We’ve been married 10 years and he is the best thing to ever happen to us – except each other. Gail and I have been “in line” for a China adoption for over 3 1/2 years. The process should have taken 1 year, but things slowed down TREMENDOUSLY for various reasons, so we decided to pursue a local adoption in the meantime. ETA on the baby girl from China is another 12 months. No hurry, though, as we are enjoying the little guy.

What about your family background? Gail and I met as MBA students in Michigan. We fell in love after the first date and married 2 years later. My parents are divorced. This one act, if not done correctly (and there is a right way and wrong way to divorce), can negatively affect your kids forever. It changed me and I wish this on no one – ever! I don’t think anyone should be unhappy and if a divorce among parents is unavoidable, the children (and their feelings) MUST come above all. Parents, if they never went through this as children, simply have no idea the kind of impact. Trust me on this.

What do you like most about being a dad? I am so new, it’s hard to say. At the moment, there is nothing better than to have a child completely dependent on me. When we first got him, there were no feelings toward him. It wasn’t love at first sight (although, Gail felt it). I felt nothing other than responsibility. Now, I would take that proverbial “bullet” for him. He is everything to us. It’s the greatest feeling to have him squeeze my fingers or smile only at me in a room full of strangers. That feeling can not be described – you just have to experience it.

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? Things change between the adults. You lose something. Maybe its the intimacy or the independence or the “do what you want when you want to” – not sure. But you lose something. It’s completely worth it, though, because it is replaced with something so great, it’s heaven and we both are so happy.

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? Can I answer this 6 months from now? We have been blessed with Jackson. Never sick or crying too much – he has been nearly perfect. When he does cry, we simply laugh with him and it goes away in seconds and he is laughing with us. The funniest thing to happen though is when he is REALLY crying. We get freaked out a little, but as he is doing it, he puts his arms in the air, clenches his fists, and really puts every ounce of energy into the cry – it’s priceless.

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? Traditional manliness says we are the enforcers and disciplinarians. The lines of responsibility between mother and father are getting blurred, but we will always have this perception.

The thing that disturbs me most about fathers today is the Homer Simpson/Peter Griffin thing. Fathers seen as goofballs, disconnected, and often irresponsible is not good. Most say “aw, those are just cartoons…TV…nobody cares about those.” I disagree. It matters. It drives a subconscious message that is not healthy in raising our children.

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? I always knew I could/would be a great Dad. I am not surprised we have such a well adjusted baby (albeit very early in the game). However, I never knew just how much I loved my wife until we added Jackson to our family unit. Without her, I would be a basket case. I could not imagine doing this alone. She is a great Mom and loves her new role.

On me being a good Dad, I will update everyone just how well I handle the first tantrum or major “challenge of Dad.” I hope I can do well. At least I will have the amazing resource of this site and the other Dads’ wisdom to glean advice.

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? My Dad gets smarter and smarter every year that goes by. Most everything he told me as a kid was true – I just didn’t know it at the time. As I go through this, I have to keep reminding him how much of a hero he is to me. When he tells me something now, I listen. My son will know this fact and hopefully Jackson learns the lessons of his father earlier than I did.

All my friends are wonderful sources. They all do it a little differently. It is very similar to my website, Return To Manliness. Every guy’s definition and interpretation is slightly different. I simply want to use all the good examples and throw away the bad ones – according to my definition. Fatherhood, likewise, is slightly different to all of us. If you understand this nuance, then every father can learn something (good or bad examples) from every other father. It’s quite liberating when you think about it.

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? Not too much yet. I am really new, so I’m not in a rush. Our little guy doesn’t do much yet, but once he does, look out. All my friends have kids, so I think this counts. Now that “Uncle Kevin and Auntie Gail” have one of their own, we are looking forward to doing things together.

Tell a little about your website. I write a blog called Return To Manliness. The topic is still evolving. I’ve had decent success thus far – high Alexa ranking; LOTS of passive readers; and plenty of RSS subscribers. I write on TONS of different topics, but all work their way back to my take on the subject of manliness. The topic evolution has me looking to address a generation of young men that have decided to postpone the responsibility of being a man. As I make decisions about how to raise my son, this is a topic that is front and center in my thoughts.

Soapbox moment:

There are a other blogs/sites out there in space of manliness that have taken the position as experts on the topic. They have begun to believe their definition, views and concept is the right and only one. That’s crap. The best we can do as bloggers is to post our own views to help facilitate a discussion. Not to preach to others the “right way to be a man” and then trash anyone who doesn’t agree.

I’m not an expert on manliness for others – nobody is. I just have opinions and a forum to post them. I only want to post my thoughts and learn from others on becoming a better man, father, husband, and son. I didn’t serve in the military, but have had wars alter my life in ways very few could imagine. I just became a father, but have helped raised several children in my extended family. I haven’t had countless sexual conquests, but I’m not a choir boy either. The point here is that all of our experiences have molded who we are as men. We shouldn’t belittle or disparage others with a different set of experiences and a different set of views on the topic. Just read, listen, learn and contribute – then use that to become a better man! Respect others and take responsibility for your actions – the rest is personal choice.

Anything else you’d like to share? I love the new site. It’s a great resource and outlet for men. I tell my friends about the content here and the other sites I read on a daily basis. Thanks for putting it together and putting so much time into the content. All the Dad’s on these sites are shining examples of taking responsibility and being great leaders for their children. I just want to know when and where the First Annual Discovering Dad/Husbands & Dads Summit will be held so I can start planning my trip!

Next week’s Spotlight on Dads will feature a dad who is a forward thinking, 21st Century guy! Come back and learn more about another involved Dad. Make sure you don’t miss it – Subscribe to get free updates.

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published each Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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