Dad and Teacher – Choosing to Homeschool

September 22nd, 2008 • Related • Filed Under

This is a guest post by Phil from A Family Runs Through It.

Ten years ago, when my wife and I first decided that I should be a stay-at-home dad, most of my friends didn’t understand why I’d want to take on that challenge. Many of them abandoned me over time.

Eight years later, I lost the rest of them when we made another huge family decision. To pull my son out of public school and teach him at home. I would be both “dad” and “teacher.”

There are many reasons to homeschool your kids. Ours was simple. First, with me being home, we could. Second, my son was losing interest in learning. He was in second grade at the time, and I could see that he was bored in class (I volunteered a few times each week). The teacher was overwhelmed with 25 students, paying the most attention to the troublemakers. My son was receiving an average education in what was quickly becoming a non-learning environment.

So, the question in our mind was: Can we do better at home?

That first day of third grade at home gave us an answer. It was immediately clear that our son would thrive with one-on-one teaching. He was not only a good student, but he was excited about starting his day and exploring each subject.

The tough part was not his adjustment, but mine.

It took me that whole first year of homeschooling to get used to having my day devoted to teaching rather than chores and projects. My evenings were suddenly not free, because that’s when the cleaning and organizing had to be done. It was like I had a full-time job and was coming home like most working parents to a cluttered and dirty house that needs my attention.

Last year, a friend decided to follow our example and start homeschooling her kids. I warned her about having to adjust her schedule, not to mention attitude, to these new responsibilities. She didn’t heed my advice and, after four months, ended up putting her kids back in public school, telling me, “I just want my day back.”

You can’t decide to teach your kids at home and then lament that you have no time for the gym or coffee with the gals. You’re either devoted to this or not. There’s no in-between when it comes to homeschooling.

Every now and then I ask my son if he misses public school. He always answers the same, “Absolutely not!” I see him thriving with his education, reading far above grade level and working on math problems until he understands it thoroughly. He loves history and sometimes spends hours researching a particular subject, such as the Civil War or Franklin Roosevelt.

Our days aren’t spent sitting at a desk in the living room. We get out and about most days, whether it’s down to the library or the park, or on an organized field trip with a local homeschool group. He also continues to see old friends through soccer and basketball leagues.

I’m not even going to mention the “socialization” myth because it’s just that, a myth. My son interacts with a wider variety of people than he ever would sitting in a classroom at the public school.

If you’ve ever thought about homeschooling, there is really only one thing you need to consider: Are you able to devote four or five hours a day to teaching your children? If you can, and you have the desire, why not give it a try?

I never thought I’d have so much fun being my son’s teacher these past two years. Yes, of course, there are bad days, but they are few and far between. If one of us is tired or grumpy, we take some time off. I’ll give my son a book and say, “Spend the day reading this.” However, most days I’m amazed at how much knowledge he can soak up in his young brain. He learns more in one day at home than most kids learn in a week at public school.

It’s not easy, being a dad. Add in the role of teacher and you have some hard work ahead of you. But, to me, it’s worth it as I watch my son develop an early passion for learning.

And now I get to watch my daughter learn, as she is at home with us this year after spending kindergarten and first grade at the public school. How will it go with two of them at home? It’s too early for me to write about, other than to say it’s going to take some brand-new adjustments on my part.

So, as my kids learn and grow, so will I.

If you’d like to learn more about Phil and his family’s adventures, visit him at A Family Runs Through It.

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There Are 14 Responses So Far. »

Comment by David on 22 September 2008:

You’re an incredible dad and man Phil. Your son will figure this out when he’s an adult and in particular when he’s a dad. That’s worth more then any “friendship”.
Comment by orlund on 23 September 2008:

Good job. I think homeschooling is a wise choice. I think children will do better being taught by their parents. We hope to do that with our children however my wife will have to do the teaching as I will need to keep my job.
Comment by Zoeyjane on 23 September 2008:

I’ve been planning on homeschooling or alternative education (like ‘unschooling’) since my daughter was about 9 months old. She’s just over 2 now and we’re already starting the preschool primers and flash card bit in anticipation – and to build it up as something normal to do in everyday life. I hope that with the lack of ‘off to public and then home, again’, I won’t experience that sense of time loss that I’ve heard other parents beside Phil speak of. We’ll see. Personally, I’m really looking forward to it – to the big kid stuff, that is.

Zoeyjanes latest discovery was..On Om Nama Shivaya*
Comment by Charlie on PA Tpk on 23 September 2008:

My much-better-half and I decided on homeschooling when our oldest (now 12) was in 1st grade, but then migrated to cyberschooling in 2nd grade. Pennsylvania offers enrollment in cyber-charter schools – tax payer funded schools that teach via PC – that provide a full curriculum with licensed teachers working remotely. He’s in 7th grade now, his third year in the honors program, and his 6 year old brother has just started cyber-kindergarten (in his first week he can name the 7 continents, and a major landmark on each).

Families in other states can enroll in cyber-schooling by purchasing the curriculum from a number of different providers (we use k-12.com)

And to further dispel the myth of ‘socialization concerns’, when other parents raise this issue I am quick to point out that my kids have never been involved in a ‘school lock down’ for drugs, guns, etc.

Like home-school parents, cyber parents have to devoted to the program as well (arguably, perhaps not as much, but devoted nonetheless). High praise goes to those parents who undertake this in their homes, and in particular my MBH, who has – without a doubt – the decidedly harder job in our family.

Charlie on PA Tpks latest discovery was..I’ll drink to that!
Comment by VegasDad on 23 September 2008:

Considering the state of our schools here in Las Vegas, if we’re still here when Z-Dub becomes school age in about three years we’re definitely going to seriously think about home schooling. My wife is part of a mommies group that’s already experimenting with group homeschooling on Mondays. It’s an opportunity to preview curriculum and see how it’s conducted. Fortunately, we’ve got a little time to figure things out.
Comment by Matt on 23 September 2008:

I have to admit, man. There is absolutely no way I could home school my kid. I’m just not built that way. Do I respect all the people like yourself who devote so much time and energy to providing a top-rate education to your kids? Absolutely. Am I the kind of person who can do it? Nope.

I’m saying all this lightly, but it took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I am who I am and that I am actually a better father when I have time for myself. Five hours a day is a loooong time, and I’ve always felt that both myself and my daughter would regret it.

I do, however, believe that in certain areas and depending on certain situations that home schooling may be the right choice for many. I admit I have the luxury of not being concerned about the quality of my daughter’s education at this point in her life. If things were different, I might more seriously consider making the sacrifice.

Matts latest discovery was..Psst. God. You still there?
Comment by Phil on 23 September 2008:

Matt, I hear you. I’m actually not the most patient person in the world. Over the past few years, I’ve learned various ways to deal with the frustrations of homeschooling. Thankfully, those moments are few and far between. Still, I do wonder what life would be like if I had the school day alone. My house would be really clean. The laundry would all be folded. The basement project would’ve been done in a week. Oh well. At this point, we’re all having a good time with the freedom of homeschooling. And they’re learning a lot, which is the whole point of it.

Phils latest discovery was..May The Floors Be With You
Comment by Jeremy on 23 September 2008:

Great dialogue here around a very important and, at times, controversial and misunderstood subject. I had no idea that some states offered cyber-schooling options, and like Matt I applaud those who choose to homeschool and execute it in a way that produces positive results for the kids. It sounds like you (Phil) have a great system worked out and are completely devoted to doing things right. I respect and admire that very much, and like Matt, I don’t think I could do it. Awesome post Phil, and great comments!
Comment by James Austin on 24 September 2008:

Great post Phil. I admire what you have done with your kids and envy you a bit as well. I would totally do that and my day be damned if that were an option in a few years when Luke gets older. Not likely to happen for me though.
Comment by UrbanVox on 25 September 2008:

First I have to say… WOW! you are brave!
We’ve considered home schooling as well… My son has just started Reception class now… but I think I would be to overwhelmed if I home schooled him… I say I, because I am the one who works from home…
I know for a fact that I would not do very well as his teacher… and by the endo of the month I would have had a nervous breakdown.
Comment by Karen on 4 October 2008:

So many great points have been brought up with this issue. Personally I have met several children who were home schooled. Some of them obviously thrived on it but there have been a few that did not. The worst-case scenario kid is 23 now, he still lives with his parents, he has some ambitions but has no idea how to pursue them, and even if he did he is not in a good position to do so and some of them are not really obtainable for him. He has MAJOR social problems, part of why his mother pulled him out of school, but unfortunately the perfect place for him was in school where he would have been forced to work through what were not entirely serious issues at the time but now hold him back from really having a life of his own. He is definitely an extreme case and the perfect poster child for those opposing home schooling.

From what I have seen basically it is up to the parents to make sure that their kid(s) is not just educated academically but also socially. If the parents are willing and able to cover both areas of their child’s education then I have no problem with home schooling =).

Karens latest discovery was..The Adventures of Super Yeast: First Batch
Comment by Treemama on 14 October 2008:

Thank you for this post. My daughter is in second grade this year. She loved school. For Kindergarten and and 1st grade she lived for school, even homework, she cried on the last day. This year, she doesn’t want to go, she is doing all A’s on her work, but failed her standardized bubble tests because she didn’t understand the instructions (23 kids in the class and she’s SEVEN). She got a 34% in reading and she can devour a Judy Moody book in two hours. I don’t hold much for those tests anyway and reassured her she was fine, but there is absolutely no joy for her in learning anymore.

I would love to homeschool, but being a single parent doesn’t much give you the option not to work. I try to supplement by teaching the kids in entertaining ways about the world around us everyday.

For a long time when I was still married I considered going back to school to teach, but can’t bring myself to join into a system where as a Kindergarten teacher you have to validate keeping a 15 minute recess by having structured play.
Comment by Terry Power on 16 October 2009:

Great work Phil… my wife and I have homeschooled all five of our children. My eldest son is now in his 3rd year of his engineering degree, my eldest daughter is in her first year of her music degree. Like you we had hesitations, but as they grow and thrive its wonderful to be vindicated in our choice. The key, I believe, is to focus on their respective strengths. Oh and the social myth? My daughter recently had her 18 birthday, she had 250 guests! Go for it, it is without doubt the most rewarding thing my wife and I have ever done.
Comment by Evan Nelson on 9 September 2010:

i was home schooled and it is quite satisfactory when providing basic education.-’