Day 4

August 3, 2006

Today was an emotional roller coaster, but it began with a blessing in our family. My sister-in-law gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Alex (AJ). He came two months early and will have to stay in the Neonatal Unit for at least a few weeks. My heart went out to Lisa and Jamie, and I said several prayers for them today. I know what it’s like to have a baby come early – Ty was a month early and had to spend a few days in the NIC-U, and the same thing happened with Chani. It’s scary for new parents to have their child hooked-up to a bunch of machines and monitors, and it’s even harder to not be able to cuddle and connect with your newborn, like you see people do on TV and visualize yourself doing throughout the pregnancy.

We were supposed to go to Hershey Park today, but the phone call came about the birth just as me, Chani and Ty were pulling out of the driveway. Lori ran outside in her underwear to catch us – I wish she wouldn’t do that, run around in her underwear where the neighbors can see her that is. Chani understood completely – she’s such a good kid – but I could tell she was a little disappointed. I thanked her for understanding, and I promised to make it up to her with…another trip to Chic-Fil-A for lunch today.

To make things worse, Lori’s car broke down on her way to work, so she had to get a rental. I’m so thankful that she has an understanding boss who really does appreciate her. Lori is an extremely hard worker, and I’m proud of her. Today, though, the stress and drama were high, so it made it difficult for us to communicate effectively.

I’ve had my fair share of drama in life, so I tend to avoid it as much as possible. I encouraged Lori to go to Philadelphia to see her sister and the baby after work today, rather than sit home worried and projecting her stress on me. I said that I would be fine with the kids, even if she wanted to spend the night.

Can you imagine? I voluntarily offered to take care of a baby and a 12-year-old all day and overnight…by myself…with no back-up! What was I thinking? I don’t even know how to cook a basic meal, but I needed to step-up today, so I did.

After lunch, Chani and I took Ty for a walk, which, in reality, was just another way to kill time. Ty was awesome throughout the day today. He smiled; he cooed; he laughed; and, he cried, but not as much as yesterday. During a fussy spell, I employed a tactic I’ve seen Lori do with him – shushing loudly in his ear – and it actually worked! It only provided a few minutes of peace though. It’s hard to figure out what it is that he wants at times.

Since Chani was such a good helper, and so very understanding that the trip to Hershey was cancelled today, I took her swimming again this afternoon. Ty slept in the Snuggly incubator, and I tried to play with Chani as much as possible. “Since you’ve got Ty all day today without Lori, does that mean we don’t get any daddy-daughter time?” she asked. She didn’t mean it in a mean way, but it made me sad to think she’s already leaving the day after tomorrow. We spent the next half hour talking about her upcoming plans for the summer – it was the best I could do at giving her some focused time and attention.

Chani’s dinner consisted of ice-crusted, frozen shrimp along with tater tots. I had a bowl of canned potato soup and two freezer-burned burritos. Ty had five ounces of premium, grade-A formula, which was probably the best meal between us. We watched TV while eating, and I let Chani pick whatever shows she wanted whether they interested me or not.

Lori called during dinner to let me know that she probably would not be staying overnight in Philly. Lisa was sick all day. Lori and her mom had comforted her and Jamie as much as they could, but they just wanted to have some alone time. I understood completely. Even though the love and support from family and friends are appreciated, it’s important for couples to lean on each other during tough times.

Lori said that her mom, Bren, was willing to come down to watch Ty for part of the day tomorrow, so I could spend some time with Chani before she leaves. I thought that was an extremely gracious offer, especially considering today’s events. I said that it wasn’t necessary for her to leave Lisa, but I got the impression from Lori that she really wanted to come down for the day.

After I got off the phone, I watched Ty sleep for a few minutes. I really felt lucky that he was happy and healthy. I put him in his swing and went downstairs to clean up after dinner. Chani was on the computer and talking to her mom for the third or fourth time today.

I don’t mind that they talk so much when she’s here, but it does make me a little jealous. Chani and I are lucky to catch each other once every two days on the phone, when she’s at home in Connecticut. I often wish that she would want to talk to me more often, tell me how her day went and ask for my advice about things. We love each other very much, but it’s hard to develop a closer bond living so far apart.

Before I went to bed, I said a quick prayer thanking God for giving me two healthy children, and I also asked Him to give Lisa and Jamie the same. I have faith that things will work out, and I’m confident that baby Alex will be fine.

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