Comments on: Do I Make My Kids’ World Bigger or Smaller?

By: isabella mori

isabella mori — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:15:36 +0000

great post.

this is quite significant for me. i grew up in germany, where people are still much more into letting their kids go. my oldest grew up in germany and south america (paraguay) until age 9. when he was 7, he took the subway all across berlin to get to his school. the adventures he had on the subway with his buddy are part of his most treasured childhood memories.

as an older “serial mother” (my kids are 35, 25 and 11), living in canada, where people are waaaay more protective than in germany and paraguay, i see myself getting more and more fearful. both my husband and i are trying to overcome that; i don’t think it’s in our youngest one’s best interest. but it’s interesting to see that i still nervously await her return from a safe 10-minute walk from her martial arts class.

By: Tara R.

Tara R. — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 23:41:12 +0000

What a fabulous question. I am of a generation of kids who would leave their house at daybreak and play outside God knows where, until God knows when. Today, I’m just know letting my 15yo do things I could do when I was 5. It’s a different world, but I too wonder what sorts of amazing adventures my kids have missed out on because I sought to protect them from perceived dangers.

(I must also admit I laughed out loud at the ‘my tit fell off’ part.)

Tara R.s latest discovery was..Is that a good ‘uh’ or a bad ‘uh’?

By: NukeDad

NukeDad — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 19:46:08 +0000

OK, I’m back. I believe that wisdom from your elders (parents) is great, but after thinking about it, I realized that most of the lessons I’ve learned in life have been on my own. That is to say that even though I KNEW they were telling me the truth, I didn’t fully believe it until I tried it myself. Didn’t matter what it was either.

I think the overprotectivness comes from knowing what the result is because we’ve already lived through it, but until your child/friend/spouse experiences the same thing for themselves, no amount of advice is going to convince them. It may make them think a little more about it, but they will still have to make the leap themselves.

I know that I’m making a concerted effort to “butt out” a little more these days. If I keep telling what they “can’t” do because I’m afraid they’ll hurt themselves, then they’ll never learn how to work through consequences on their own.

NukeDads latest discovery was..Time To Unpack

By: tom

tom — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 18:25:26 +0000

I was not overprotected as a child. My mom looked forward to the times when my brothers and I were out and far away so she could get some peace. Once, our nosy neighbor called her and said “Did you know your boys are jumping off the roof?” Without missing a beat, she said “At least they’re outside.”

No lie.

I’m sort of the same way – to a point. I expect my kids to get hurt. If they aren’t scraping knees, stubbing toes or getting poked by sticks then they’re not out there living life. Even though he’s only four, I think it’s okay for Michael to learn from some hard experience, like climbing on the back of the couch can lead to a very painful encounter with the hardwood floor.

As was said earlier, it’s a balance. Give them plenty of rope, but keep a firm hold of the other end.

toms latest discovery was..This is love.

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 04:47:19 +0000

Ed – where’s the line between being cautious and being over protective? I agree with what you said about not forcing them to learn things the hard way, but like Nuke said, I wonder if I’m not letting them experience enough things on their own without a push from me.