Mealtime at our house is, to be completely honest, my least favorite time of the day. By the time I’ve finished working all day and have battled through evening rush hour traffic, the last thing I want to deal with at home is more chaos. It’s taken a long time, but my wife and I have come up with some ways that work well for our family to make dinner time a little bit more relaxed and less anxious.

• 15 minutes of clean - Depending on the state of the main living area, we’ll have everybody to spend 15 minutes putting toys back in bedrooms, picking up books, putting away DVDs and CDs, or just de-cluttering in general. Myself or my wife will cook dinner while the others help clean up. This not only gets the house tidy, but can also help the kids burn off a little of that extra energy with all those trips up and down the stairs. That means, less fidgeting during dinner.
• “The besta parta day” - When the kids are in extra talkative moods, we help them settle down and remember to wait patiently by going around the table and asking each other “What was the best part of your day?” (or, as my son says “What the besta parta day?”) This little game helps force the kids to be patient and listen. It also lets us all take part in the high points of each others day. Sometimes, asking that one question will turn into a conversation of how to handle situations at school which we may not have known about without this open table discussion.
• Put those kids to work! - When the kid’s energy tanks are full, we let them help set the table. Our oldest puts the cups, plates and utensils on the table, while our youngest helps put napkins and condiments on the table. We let them set the table however they want. They (usually) work together to decide where each person sits and, in the end, they both feel accomplished and our compliments score points which seem to pay off if we need to ask them to calm down during mealtime.
• Silence is golden - When we really need just a few minutes of silence to compose ourselves and get back into the right frame of mind, the “Quiet Game” will sometimes give us those few minutes.
• When you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em - Some nights, despite our tenacious efforts, the kids simply overpower us. In cases like this, we put on some upbeat music and crank it up a bit. Once the kids hear the catchy tunes of Motown oldies, Santana or the Dave Matthews Band, they stop talking, start eating and boogie & groove in their seats. Sometimes all you can do is harness their energy into something less aggravating.

Do you have any other tips for how to control energy levels during mealtime?

Daniel De Guia is a Contributing Writer for Discovering Dad.  His personal site is deguia.net. You can also connect with Daniel via Twitter @deguia.

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I’ve often heard the old saw “Don’t sweat the small stuff” and the lesser-known corollary: “It’s all small stuff.” Whoever wrote these maxims must not have had to take care of any small children.

It’s nearly impossible for a caring parent NOT to sweat the small stuff, particularly when the small “stuff” is being crammed into larger, expensive-to-repair important “stuff.” Being vigilant as a dad means watching what your kids do, being sure they don’t hurt themselves, and trying to intercept things before damage is done to the house and furniture. We’re always on our toes - alert, ready to spring into action and save the day.

Most of the things kids do though does not cause permanent damage.  Most things are smaller, such as spilling cereal on the floor, leaving the door open when the heat is on, scribbling on a book with a pen, repeatedly turning on and off a light and flushing things down the toilet.  These things are annoying, but they probably won’t hurt anyone.  And yet, we often act like it’s the end of the world when they occur.

For example, the other day my son was playing with a bar of soap in the shower; putting it in a cup of water and smushing it around. Dissolving it. Wasting it.  My first reaction was to be annoyed.  Doesn’t he understand that soap isn’t free?

I was just about to snarl at him to cut it out, but I stopped to think.  What’s the big deal? It’s just a bar of soap. What am I so concerned about? He can’t dissolve the whole thing in the time it takes to finish this shower. And even if he does, it’s not going to break the bank to buy more soap.  I let it go.

If he were setting the house on fire, then I wouldn’t let it go. If he were going to drink drano, I wouldn’t even stop to think before diving to grab the bottle from his hands. If he was going to put the cat in the dryer, I would discipline him harshly to respect the life of others.  If he was doing these types of things every day, I would be covered in sweat from oozing frustration from every pour.

These big things don’t really happen that often though.  Instead, it usually the small stuff, like the soap.  I’m learning not to “sweat the small stuff,” but I’m definitely not to the point of believing that “it’s all small stuff” … yet.

My challenge to you is to recognize the small stuff you might be sweating, let it go and share it with the rest of us so we can do the same.

Tom Bowns is a Contributing Writer for Discovering Dad. His personal site is Being Michael’s Daddy. You can also follow Tom on Twitter @michaelsdaddy.

©2008 Discovering Dad. All Rights Reserved.

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My mom used to tell me all the time…

My dad used to affectionately slap me on the back of the head each time I wasn’t aware…

It’s seen as a lack of self-confidence…

And yet most of us still do it…

We stand in line at the ATM, or while talking to the other dads at our kid’s soccer game or when we’re sitting at our desk in the office. No matter where we are, our posture is terrible!

Posture is one of those things that, if not paid any attention to, can really start to affect our health later on in life. Poor posture can be attributed mainly to what we do everyday and living what I like to call an “anterior dominant” life.

Anterior Dominance just means that we do most of our daily activities in front of us (driving, writing, eating, conversing, working/typing). This results in the muscles in front of our body becoming tight and overworked causing our shoulders and neck to creep forward and up and our chests to “cave in.”

It also doesn’t help that when we go to the gym the first thing we concentrate on are our “mirror” muscles. We lay down on the bench press to work our chest, pump our biceps until they scream for mercy and then crunch our way forward to feel a burn in our abs. Doing all of that doesn’t get us in better shape or make us look better. It just makes our lives harder because we’re over taxing our already tight anterior muscles taking us further away from Brad Pitt and bringing us closer to Quasimodo (the Hunchback of Notre Dame).

So what to do then?

First, we eliminate the barbell bench press altogether. Bench pressing was great when we were in high school and college when we played football and wanted to impress girls. But now, unless you’re a busy dad who’s an offensive lineman by profession, it just isn’t necessary. In fact, the majority of the population doesn’t even know how to bench properly for it to be a safe exercise. Instead, limit your “pushing” exercises to just push-ups and variations of push-ups. And believe me, if you do push-ups correctly, you’ll stop feeling like they’re just for high school PE class and guys in the military. Most of the programs that I write for busy dads don’t include any type of pressing with external weight because we’re already tight in our chest and shoulders.

Next comes the conscious part of daily life. It’s important for us to be aware that we have bad posture and do all we can to consciously correct it. Walking with our shoulders back, standing “tall,” sitting with our backs straight – these are all things that we can do everyday to correct our posture. It may feel weird at first and you may feel like you’re trying to overexpose your chest like you’re Superman, but it only feels weird because you’ve probably been hunched over for so long.

Finally, we need to concentrate our exercise efforts on the areas that are the most neglected. First, we need to work our abs and spinal erectors (the muscles in your back that help keep your spine upright) the way they’re meant to be worked – not by moving them but by trying our darnest to keep them still while we move limbs around them. Most of you have seen this video before about a basic ab workout…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJSbSHutTLE

Then, we need to concentrate on those smaller muscles in our upper back that oppose all the tight ones in front of us. I like to use this circuit 3-4 times per week to help keep my posture right…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCMNMHBY1Dk

I think the take home message is that paying attention to your posture should be as much a part of everyday as eating breakfast (you DO eat breakfast, right?).

By “self-correcting” our posture, we’re allowing ourselves to breathe better. We give off the appearance of being muscular and confident. And we give the illusion of adding an inch or 2 to our height. And these, as we know, are all the great attributes that we need to be intimidating when we answer the door knowing that our daughter’s first date is waiting on the other side.

Chris Lopez is a Contributing Writer for Discovering Dad.  His personal site is Fit and Busy Dad Blog. You can also follow him on Twitter @fitandbusydad.

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Chris will continue to write articles about fitness for dads, as well as share his experience and thoughts about what it means to be a good dad.

Here’s some additional information about Chris:

Chris Lopez, BSc HK, CSCS is a fitness expert, writer and personal trainer. He is an occasional contributor to the Globe and Mail, Maximum Fitness and Men’s Fitness Magazines and has been helping get Busy Dads in shape for 10 years since the birth of his first child. He and his wife live in Toronto, Canada with their 4 daughters.  You can also read his Spotlight on Dads feature to get some more personal insights into this great dad.

Please join me in congratulating Chris for becoming a Contributing Writer for Discovering Dad!

If you want to learn more about Chris, check out his Fit and Busy Dad Blog or website.  You can also follow him on Twitter @fitandbusydad.

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©2008 Discovering Dad. All Rights Reserved.

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Some say this path will be filled with obstacles and challenges that no one leader could ever overcome; others say that a new era of prosperity and peace will be upon us within the next four years. Either way, things are going to change and it is the result of all of you exercising your right to vote.

The following Discovering Dad readers were randomly selected to win the Pledge to Vote Prize packs from Hachette Books:

Clark
PG
Lee McKusick
Roger
Daniel

All five of you will receive 10 politically-oriented books from Hachette Books USA.

Thanks again for taking the time to pledge and vote! Now, it is important that we all stay engaged and informed as to the new direction Obama decides to take America.

Feel free to share your thoughts about the results of Election 2008!

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