I remember playing outside at school with my friends during recess. I was in third grade, and I loved running around, darting from one piece of equipment to another. Exercise, games and activities were the most common ways I got to know other kids and build relationships with them.

One day, while trying to get a group together to play a game of freeze tag, I noticed a few boys surrounding a kid who was new and different in our class. His name was Sanjay, and he recently moved to our small town from the big city (Baltimore). He spoke with a funny accent, and he dressed different from the rest of us. The majority of us had gone to school together since kindergarten, so he was considered an outsider.

As I ran up to the group, intent on getting them all to come and play the game with me, I experienced hazing for the first time. The boys were telling Sanjay to do all kinds of stupid and degrading things, like repeating words he couldn’t pronounce or rubbing the dirt off his skin so it would be ‘white’ like theirs. I didn’t quite know what to make of the situation, but it didn’t seem right to me.

Each one of the boys egged another on, until all of them were taking turns harassing and ridiculing Sanjay. I just wanted to play tag though, so I blurted out, “Hey, come on, you guys wanna play freeze tag?” Sanjay looked at me and asked, “What freeze tag? I play?” Before I could answer, one of the other boys pushed him to the ground and said, “We don’t play tag with you - you’re not our friend!”

I don’t think the other boy saw it coming, but Sanjay jumped up and clocked the shit out of him. He balled up his fists, and stood right over the kid and said, “I not play with you! I not play with you!”

The boy got up and ran off crying to tell the teacher what had happened - he was always a little tattletail who bullied people around because he was bigger than them. Meanwhile, Sanjay still had his fists up waving them around at the other boys, who also proceeded to run off like the chickenshits they were too.

He turned toward me to see if I was going to run. I was frozen though, as if I had been tagged in the game I originally wanted the boys to play. He could have clocked me in the mouth too. I don’t think I would have moved. He didn’t do that though.

Instead, we both started laughing. A slow dumbfounded laugh at first, followed by hysterical giggling. I didn’t have to say anything - we both knew that the game was now officially on. I took off running like a bolt of lightning, heading toward the swings. Sanjay ran after me, and a bunch of kids joined in the game of tag that spontaneously erupted.

Recess ended with Sanjay being taken to the principal’s office for hitting the other boy. As they took him away, he turned around with a big smile on his face and said, “Bye friend!” I waved back and smiled, and I knew I had made a good friend that day.

I’ve always liked people who weren’t afraid to stand up for themselves, especially when they were disadvantaged, outnumbered or scared. I’m not saying it’s OK to solve problems by hitting, but if someone pushes you then by gosh you have every right to defend yourself.

I know my kids deal with bullies and peer pressure, just like I did when I was growing up. I hope that they have the strength to stand up for themselves, just like my friend Sanjay did on the playground that day back in third grade.

Do you have any memories of playground justice? Hazing? Freeze tag, or other fun games? Share - leave a comment!

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