Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series from Discovering Dad that features involved fathers from around the world. The objective of the series is to inspire fathers to connect and learn from one another, while also deconstructing the stereotype of fathers as ’second’ parents.

This week’s spotlight shines on Chris from Dad of Divas.  Chris is the lone man in a house full of ladies/divas, and he’s been trying to take back his kingdom unsuccessfully for a few years now.  Rather than fight it though, he seems to genuinely enjoy spending quality time with the family.

Tell a little about yourself. Hello all, my name is Chris Lewis otherwise know as Dad of Divas. I am the proud father of 2 Divas, an almost 4 (going on 15) year old and a six month old. J-Mom and I have been married for 10 years, and we live in a small city in Wisconsin (near the shore of Lake Michigan). We have lived here since 2006 when we moved from Grand Rapids, Michigan. We lived for about 6 years. I am a college administrator, specifically working in the field of Student Affairs, and I love the career (though it does take a lot of time away from the family).

What about your family background? I grew up as an only child in Southeastern Michigan, where both of my parents were educators. It was pretty much ingrained in me from an early age that education was a must and that I would continue my education past K-12, which I did. I decided to attend Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo, Michigan (Yes there is a Kalamazoo – Go Broncos!). It was at WMU that J-Mom and I first met in an Interpersonal Communication class. Now if you ask J-Mom how well I communicate, I am not for certain what she would say, but I guess I talked well enough back then to get her interested. I tend to fall into the category of work-a-holic, unfortunately, and this somewhat comes from being raised in a family with a father who was also a work-a-holic. I know this is something that I need to be aware of and try my best to limit, but at times it is hard.

What do you like most about being a dad? For me, the best parts of being a dad revolve around seeing my children grow and learn on a daily basis. Never would I have known when I held my eldest daughter that fatherhood would so profoundly change my life (for the better). I mean, I knew that I would have to be a teacher to my children and they would learn from me, but what has amazed me most is amount of things I learn from them. Also, being a dad helps me understand that I am not perfect, as your kids will find any mistakes that you make.

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? I always thought I was pretty patient, until I had kids. As my eldest grew older and began testing the limits my wife and I set for her on a daily basis, our patience was tested to the fullest extent. I also think that balancing everything is hard in being a dad. Working full time, writing for my blogs, helping others, volunteering in the community, volunteering at church – all of these things take me away from J-Mom and the girls. I don’t like this, but I find it difficult to say no at times (just a flaw in my wiring I guess).

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? For me, the funniest moment so far was on a trip back home to visit relatives in Michigan. We were outside of Chicago next to Gary, Indiana. Now, any of you who know Gary, also know the unique odor that accompanies the town in relation to the steel mills there. So, anyway, we were driving through Gary and the smell of sulfur was pungent in the air.  My eldest daughter stated from the backseat, “What’s that smell? Is that Daddy?” I was dumbfounded, but then my wife and I simply started laughing. It definitely made the trip one to remember.

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? I think many dads are seen as the secondary parent. In my case, I sometimes feel like the ‘heavy’ in the family, and when I get home from work I have to go into disciplinarian mode quite often. I definitely don’t like this, but I know it is somewhat necessary. J-Mom and I have to be consistent on the whole discipline thing. I also think many dads are still seen as the breadwinners, but this seems to be changing. In our home, we decided a while back that J-Mom would stay home with Diva-J, which has definitely been good for her and now for Diva-PJ.  Living on one income is challenging though, and at times it can be frustrating to always have to struggle. I’ve even thought about getting a second job to makes ends meet, but again it would be something taking me away from my family even more. Finally, I would say many dads are seen as the people with the answers, the “fix-it” parent both literally and metaphorically. I do wish I was more handy, so that I wouldn’t have to rely on neighbors or professionals for help with many DIY Projects.

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? I discover things about myself daily! As I mentioned above, my kids point out any mistakes or inconsistencies that I make. “Push in your chair” is something I hear a lot lately after dinner (even after I have already pushed in the chair – I can’t win). I’ve also learned that there is more to consider than myself in becoming a father. I think prior to fatherhood, I could focus more on my and J-Mom’s needs, and now, I have my girls’ needs to contend with too. This makes me look at the world through very different lenses.

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? My father is one person I turn to for guidance on fatherhood, both for what I should and should not do. Outside of family, I have met so many great fathers blogging. I am learning so much from each and every one of them too.

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? Since I moved to Wisconsin, I have not connected with many fathers due to the nature of my work and evening responsibilities. I have befriended some neighbors though, which is nice. When I do get together with other guys, most of the time it is to go out for a bite to eat, watch a game, or simply talk about life, sports or family.

Tell a little about your website. My main site is Dad of Divas. This site was inspired by a few friends, Mom of 3 Girls and Music Mom of 2. These people are friends I knew from College and from my days in Grand Rapids, and they have been chronicling their daily existence with their children too. I had started a blog with the original intention of sharing things with family and friends, but once I got started, I was hooked. I was surprised to find a huge number of bloggers out there who were also Dads. I have been having a lot of fun with the blog, trying out new topics and projects.

The site mainly tries to chronicle the daily issues that I and other dads face with raising kids, and in my case, trying to maintain my individuality in a growing Divadom. Lately, I have also been trying to share some pictures that I have taken in a 365 project, as well as, my newest project – The Great Minivan Trade Up.

The other two sites that I have are still in their infancy stages. I have one that deals with reviews of products (I love trying new things and free stuff!) – Dad of Divas Reviews. My other site relates to my work expertise – College and Career Counseling where people can come to find information and resources.

Chris is also a Contributing Writer for Discovering Dad.

Anything else you’d like to share? I am amazed at the amount of community out there for Dad Bloggers. I never would have guessed I would be blogging, let alone being interviewed as a Dad Blogger, so I have to say thanks to Jeremy for the opportunity. Overall, as a father I am simply hoping I can stay away from the mistakes that have preceded me.  I want to learn, grow and help my own daughters to be wonderful members of society.

Next week’s Spotlight on Dads will feature a trip out to the tool shed! Come back and learn more about another involved Dad.  Make sure you don’t miss it – Subscribe to get free updates.

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published each Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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