Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series from Discovering Dad that features involved fathers from around the world. The objective of the series is to inspire fathers to connect and learn from one another, while also deconstructing the stereotype of fathers as ’second’ parents.

This week’s spotlight shines on Clay Nichols, aka Daddy Clay, from DadLabs.  I had a chance to talk with Clay recently, and I’m very excited about the things he and the DadLabs crew have going on right now.  Their popular videos promote responsible fatherhood, and they probably some of the most positive viral content relating to dads on the Internet.

Tell a little about yourself. My name is Clay Nichols, husband of Kim and father of Wilson (10), Riley (7) and Cooper (4). I am co-founder and Chief Creative Officer of DadLabs.com.

What about your family background? I met my future wife way back in 1991 while we were both working at a private boarding school in Tennessee. She followed me to Texas, where we have again settled on the campus of a boarding school. It is a truly unique environment in which to raise kids. We joke that it’s a bit like being part of a cult, with our communal dining, tribal closeness to the other families out here, physical isolation on 400 acres just miles from the city center. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.

What do you like most about being a dad? Holding the kids, laughing with them.

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? I think work/life balance in a two-career family that aspires to true co-parenting is the biggest challenge. I work really hard to keep my ambition in check to preserve my relationship with my family (which is made easier by having a parenting-related business), but this doesn’t mean that we don’t frequently get stretched thin. Travel or illness puts a strain on our family.

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? The funny moments have been too numerous to count and are clearly some of my favorites. My oldest son’s birth was painfully memorable — he was a preemie born at 31 weeks gestation. But my most memorable moment as a dad is oddly mundane. The setting sun where we live reflects off the nearby limestone cliffs to create the most amazing light. There were steaks on the grill. My favorite song was on the radio. The live oaks were swaying in the breeze. My toddler son wandered over, raised his arms and said “up.” I held him for a while.

That’s it. I still tear up thinking about it.

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? I think that there is significant cultural dissonance around the perception of modern dads, arising from the fact that we have changed so radically in such a short period of time. Obviously, involved dads and co-parenting partnerships are something to be desired, but they run smack into deeply held cultural stereotypes. I think that, culturally speaking, we want to like stay at home dads and to think that nurturing men are sexy and cool, but we can’t help somehow feeling sorry for them. That’s the rub.

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? I learned that I have reserves of endurance that I had no idea about. I never would have written any books if I hadn’t been a dad. I would not have thought myself capable of having the discipline to stay up and work a second (creative) shift.

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? The community at DadLabs has been the best resource for me, but I learn about parenting from all kinds of sources — literature, a 12-year career as a teacher, movies, observing my parent/peers.

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? Pretty much everyone I hang out with is a dad — work and play. We hang at our community (school) pool, cook out a lot, drink wine, go hear live music when we can get a babysitter.

Tell a little about your website. I left my career as a teacher a little over a year ago to pursue DadLabs.com full time. For those unfamiliar with the site, it’s an online TV network with an associated social network for dads. We produce four new short shows every week. There is information and entertainment and no lack of goofiness at DadLabs with almost 300 episodes in our catalog.

We (I have two co-founders) started the business as an outgrowth of the filmmaking work we were doing with students at the school. In our spare time and with exactly zero budget, we produced two instructional DVDs for expecting dads. This led us to investigate online video and to create the website.

We’ve now served over 2.5 million videos, attracted venture capital, major sponsors, a book deal, and interest from Hollywood.

But it’s still not like we’re rolling in it. We work out of a crappy warehouse with a sound stage that we built ourselves. Every month we sweat making payroll (and some months we haven’t), partially because the A/C is about to give up the ghost. We’re on a frontier that is both exciting and terrifying.

Anything else you’d like to share? I was at a trade show recently where we were scheduled to film the creators of an documentary DVD called “Being Dad.” We almost didn’t do the interview because it occurred to me that we were giving free PR to the competition. Is this a uniquely male thought pattern, or am I reinforcing the cultural stereotypes I should be going after? Do mommy bloggers/writers/filmmakers eye each other as competition? Dads shouldn’t fall prey to this. There is enough audience/money/pageviews out there for all of us. Dads should be getting together. So I hope that any and all dad bloggers/writers/whatever, will reach out to us at a DadLabs the way that Jeremy has. We’re all better for it.

Here’s a few sample videos from the DadLabs catalog:

Next week’s Spotlight on Dads is a mystery (that’s what happens when your host is without a computer for 3 days)! Come back and learn more about another involved Dad. Make sure you don’t miss it - Subscribe to get free updates.

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published each Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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