Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series from Discovering Dad that features involved fathers from around the world. The objective of the series is to inspire fathers to connect and learn from one another, while also deconstructing the stereotype of fathers as ’second’ parents.

This week’s spotlight shines on Daniel De Guia from deguia.net.  Daniel is a new Contributing Writer for Discovering Dad, so I wanted to give readers a chance to get to know him better.  Daniel is a young and energetic family man, and I’m very excited to have him on board to share his thoughts with you.  Enjoy the spotlight!

Tell a little about yourself. I’m 26 and the dad of two awesome kids - ages 7 and 3. I was born and raised in northern California. To bring home the bacon, I work full time as a Project Manager and Web Producer for a web design firm in Sonoma County and doing some freelance writing gigs.

What about your family background? My high school sweetheart and I got married one month after graduating high school and this past July we celebrated 8 years of being married. I had a great example of a healthy marriage - my parents dated in high school, married shortly after they graduated and are still married.

I work full-time during the day, and I’m home with my two children five nights a week while my wife works. Once the kids are in bed, that’s when I squeeze in some blogging and writing.

What do you like most about being a dad? The thing I love most about being a dad is watching my kids learn and discover new things. I love hearing my daughter explain the most recent “coolest thing ever” when she comes home from school. She stops at nothing to tell anybody who will listen about all the things she learned about camels last year.

I also cherish watching the shock and pure happiness on my son’s face when he realizes that he can do something new, like put on his own sweatshirts or pour his own cereal.

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? Staying calm and patient. I learned early on that I inherited my father’s temper and short fuse.  Every day, I make a fresh promise to myself that I’ll try my absolute best to not lose my cool with my kids. Each day is different than the one before, so this is something I have to constantly work at doing.

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? Aside from the obvious answers, like “the day they were born” or “the day they started walking,” every day had memorable moments for me. Sometimes it’s a half hour long wrestling match just before bed time between me and the kids. Other days it’s helping them learn something new or even letting them pal around with me while I tinker with things in the house.

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? From my experience, dads are perceived as providers and protectors. Where this differs, is when you’re a young father. In that situation, people look at you with disapproval and treat you like a lost cause. They assume, and sometimes tell you to your face, that you’re too young and that you won’t be able to properly care for and raise a child. Luckily, I’m stubborn. I’ve used that stigma and channeled my anger of that viewpoint to fuel my goal to be the best dad that I can be. Now that I’m 26, people still react with shock when they find out that my first child was born when I was 18 years old, and that I’m still a dedicated, active and involved father.

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? Being a dad has definitely helped me become a much more selfless person. I’m focused on making sure that my wife and kids have the best I can give them, even if that means I go without. I never understood why my dad was always the last person in the house to get new shoes or even go and get his hair cut, until I became a dad. There’s an odd sense of happiness in surpassing your own needs in order to see that your family is well taken care of.

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? Like many others, I go to my dad for fatherhood advice. While we differ on some disciplinary issues, my dad and I pretty much see eye-to-eye on most parenting issues. If I end up being even half as admired by my kids, as he is from my sister and I, I would be ecstatic!

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? There aren’t a lot of dads I hang out with. I hang out with two close friends about once a week. They are both fathers - each has a boy - and all of our boys are within about a year of each other in age. We don’t really talk about a lot of fatherhood related items, other than to swap the occasional “Guess what my boy is doing now…” story.

I get along with most of the dads of my daughters schoolmates, but since the majority are in their late 30s to early 40s, there’s a distinctive age gap present, which I’ve noticed gets in the way of them approaching me. There are a couple of fathers that I have gotten to know over the last few years, and I enjoy getting together to let the kids play while we kick back and talk.

Tell a little about your website. I write a blog called deguia.net. It started as a way for me to goof around, but it quickly grew into a way for me to become a better writer and post about things that matter to me. There are a few that have become the cornerstone of this blog: My support of the West Memphis Three, my love of books & writing, commentary of current events.

Anything else you’d like to share? Thanks again, Jeremy, for the opportunity to write for Discovering Dad! To everyone: Free the West Memphis Three!

Next week’s Spotlight on Dads will take us to the Lab! Come back and learn more about another involved Dad. Make sure you don’t miss it - Subscribe to get free updates.

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published each Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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