Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series from Discovering Dad that features involved fathers from around the world. The objective of the series is to inspire fathers to connect and learn from one another, while also deconstructing the stereotype of fathers as ’second’ parents.

This week’s spotlight shines on Greg from Mommy Daddy Blog.  Greg is a new dad, and he’s also the youngest dad yet to be featured in the spotlight series.  He always has a fresh, positive perspective about life and being a dad, and it’s great to see a young man take such a responsible and active role in his child’s life.

Tell a little about yourself. My name is Greg, and I am a fiance to a beautiful woman by the name of Sheena, and a father to a nothing-short-of-absolutely-wonderful son by the name of Jayden! I’m 20 years old, and I’ve been a dad for three months. Born and raised near Chicago, where I’ve spent most of my life until finally moving down to Southern Illinois where I currently reside.

What about your family background? Sheena and I have known each other for over 7 years now. We dated on and off throughout junior high until finally sticking together through high school and college. We’ve been engaged for two months now. I actually proposed to her on Mother’s Day. Witnessing the way she loved and cared for Jayden strengthened the fact that she was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. There was never any doubt before but that was just the extra icing on the cake.

I’m the oldest of three and Sheena’s an only child. We both come from single parent homes. Her father skipped town when she was 5, never to be seen again, and I saw my father on and off (more off than on) throughout my childhood. Regardless, we both have two very strong mothers that worked hard to support us and supply us with everything we needed and wanted. For that, we’ll always be grateful for them.

What do you like most about being a dad? I love the fact that every day holds something new. Not a single day is the same. Jayden is my first child and I’ve never really been around babies throughout my life, so everything is quite new to me. One day I woke up and his poop smelled like Ritz crackers. Definitely something not found in the new parent handbook. Every day is an experience for me and I’m enjoying learning new things as a new dad.

One day I woke up and his poop smelled like Ritz crackers. Definitely something not found in the new parent handbook.

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? Overcoming the emotional stresses of becoming a new, young father is definitely something I found, and still find, most challenging.

Anger: It’s not about being angry at the fact that you’re staying in on a Saturday night to care for your child instead of being out partying with your friends. It’s about being angry at yourself for even feeling that way.

Sadness: It’s a given that babies cry. Usually a bottle/boob, a diaper change, and/or a little soothing will take care of it. But then there’s the times when they cry and cry and nothing seems to work. Nothing at all. And it just makes you want to break down and cry because there’s something wrong with your child and you can’t seem to make it all better.

Fear: With all the talk about SIDS in just about every “becoming a parent” book, it’s hard to sleep comfortably when you’re checking on your child every five minutes to make sure he is still breathing. Or, when you’re approaching an intersection with your son snug in his car seat, and you’re sweating bullets wondering whether someone who had one drink too many is also approaching that same intersection.

Handling these emotional stresses is definitely a very tough hurdle to leap, but one that MUST be leapt nonetheless.

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? The most memorable experience would definitely have to be the day Jayden was born. I think I cried more than he did. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not one to cry… a lot. But there are no words to describe the feeling of seeing your firstborn’s face for the first time and witnessing him take his very first breaths of life. I still remember every single second of it; the sound of his cries, the look on his face, the finger grab (every father should know about this one). It’s definitely something I will never forget.

The funniest experience would have to be the day Jayden pooped all over Sheena at Wal-Mart. We were doing our grocery shopping and I had been carrying Jayden around in a carrier while Sheena took control of the shopping cart. When the cart started to get full and heavy, we traded. No more than five minutes later of Sheena carrying him in the carrier, we heard a loud rumble coming from his diaper. That’s when Sheena looked down and it was poop all over her shirt, the carrier, and the floor. I laughed myself to tears because if it had just been five minutes earlier, it would’ve been me drenched in poop.

But it seemed that Jayden was not one to just let me off the hook so easily. That same night I was changing his diaper, and right as I reached for a baby wipe, he sharted (furiously, might I add) and it splatted all over my stomach. Sheena almost died laughing, and I couldn’t help but laugh too, because hey, I deserved it.

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? Honestly, growing up I’d always find it humorous how dads were perceived in media as idiots when it came to parenting and beer guzzling couch potatoes whose sole purpose was to bring home the bacon. I found it funny because I grew up with a dad hardly ever around, so I assumed that’s how they actually were. Now that I’m older, and also a father, I don’t find it funny anymore because there are many, many dads that are the complete opposite of those perceptions. Regardless of whether that’s the way dads used to be or if it’s the way some dads still are, there are dads that go above and beyond when it comes to their children and wouldn’t trade their role as a father for anything in the world. These are the dads that deserve the recognition.

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? One thing I’ve discovered is that I am one kick ass diaper changer! Seriously, I remember changing Jayden’s diaper when he took his very first poo, and it’s like it came natural to me. I can wipe poo like no other. I should be in the diaper changing Olympics or something.

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? I hope there aren’t any rules that say that the person you go to for advice about fatherhood has to be a father, or even a guy, because the person I go to is neither. To say that my mother has been a tremendous help throughout my life so far as a father would be a serious understatement. With a newborn, there are situations where the solution to a problem is easy and comes natural, and then there are situations where some good ol’ experience won’t hurt. My mother technically played mother and father to me as I was growing up, so there’s many things I have learned and still can learn from her about fatherhood.

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? Well… no. Most guys I hang out with are around my age, so even the thought of having kids probably aren’t on their minds right now.

Tell a little about your website. Currently I have just one blog, Mommy Daddy Blog, in which I co-author with Sheena. Exactly as the name states, Mommy Daddy Blog is a mommy blog and a daddy blog together as one. We actually came up with the idea for MDB way before Jayden was even born. We liked the idea of sharing our experiences of becoming first time parents through a blog. So we registered the domain, and only three months later Jayden was (unexpectedly) conceived. Coincidence?

When we got MDB up and running back in December, I seriously didn’t think that any dad blogs existed. I remember searching through Google for dad blogs and coming across a few that were abandoned. Then somehow I stumbled across BusyDad’s blog and his massive list of dad blogs. Seems that’s where all the dads hang out nowadays, at BusyD’s spot!

Anything else you’d like to share? Being a dad rules. Period.

Next week’s Spotlight on Dads will feature a dad who is an awesome writer (and he lives in a house built by one of my distant relatives a century ago)! Come back and learn more about another involved Dad.  Make sure you don’t miss it - Subscribe to get free updates.

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published each Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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