Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series from Discovering Dad that features involved fathers from around the world. The objective of the series is to inspire fathers to connect and learn from one another, while also deconstructing the stereotype of fathers as ‘second’ parents.

This week’s spotlight shines on James Grayson from Daddyshack. James is a father of two and hails from the great state of Texas. He’s also a bit Quirkee, or at least that’s what they say about the magazine he publishes too.

Tell a little about yourself. I am James Grayson, Quirkee James, Daddy, Mr. James, and Babe (my wife sometimes calls me that). I met my beautiful and awesome wife, Stephanie, almost 15 years ago, when we were on the opening waitstaff team of a TGI Friday’s here in Austin, TX. We have two kids, a son and a daughter.

What about your family background? I was born in Dallas, Texas, and I have an older sister. My parents were high school sweethearts from Midland, Texas. I met my wife after my high school sweetheart and I broke up for the last time in college. When we started dating, I discovered (with her help) things about myself that I wanted to change. I owe a lot of who I am today to my wife. She manages to bring out the best side of me. She is an amazing woman!

What do you like most about being a dad? There are a lot of things! I like it when my son discovers he CAN do it all by himself and throws up a high-five. I like it when my daughter says, “Daddy, I want you to carry me.” I like it when I don’t have to bribe them with dessert to eat their dinner because they have been playing so hard all day that they are hungry! I like it when they are polite at the grocery store and everybody is amazed that a stay-at-home dad has such great kids. I love the “I love you, Daddy” when I say goodnight to them. I like having funny subjects to photograph on a daily basis. I like watching them dance when I crank up the music! I like teaching them new things, while they teach me.

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? The most challenging thing would have to be getting up early every morning. I am such a night person! Actually, though, I think the most challenging part of being a dad for me is patience. Our children count on us for guidance but sometimes get reaction. The challenge for me is to not be the kind of dad that reacts, but instead one that can help my child see why the thing they said or did was not right and point them in the right direction. It’s an uphill battle right now with a 5 year-old and a 2 year-old.

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? I have to pick one? Last Summer, when my son and I went to our first Dallas Cowboys training camp in San Antonio, TX, it was definitely a memorable experience. We tossed the football on the sidelines while waiting for the players to sign autographs after practice. One of the quarterbacks who was trying out for a backup position came over the ropes to give out his John Hancock. We were throwing the football nearby, so we took it over to him. A small group of men pushed their way between us to get their autographs first, and I could tell my son was uncomfortable in that crowd and would rather being playing catch again. I said in a stern voice to the others, “I’ve got a four-year old here that has been waiting patiently for an autograph, so quit crowding us out!”

Richard Bartel, the rookie quarterback from Tarleton State, looked up at me, looked down at my son, tossed him his quarterback towel from practice, and signed our ball. Then, he smiled and said, “Here you go, kid.” I thanked him and he said, “You’re welcome.” It was like that old Coca-Cola commercial, except he didn’t make the team. And there were no Cokes, only smiles. My son held on to that little sweaty towel the entire drive back to Austin.

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? I’ve seen dads perceived in many different ways, especially on the Internet. Some are bumbling idiots; some are trying really hard; some are not trying at all; and, some are just “perfect.” Honestly, I think we are all a mix of each description. To claim perfection as a dad is just asking for the parenting gods to strike you down.

Overall, I think dads are perceived well. Opening up our lives and experiences, our questions, concerns, tips, and more on blogs and forums has been a great thing. I wish more dads who are not stay-at-home dads would participate in this online revolution. Maybe I just haven’t looked around enough for them but most of the ones I come across are stay-at-home dads. Jim Lin from The Busy Dad Blog is a great example of a dad working outside of the home full-time, but still wants to write about his awesome life as a father.

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? I have discovered that the well-being of another person is dependent on me (and my wife). That can be scary to think about.

I have also discovered a new love of donuts. We don’t get them often, but there is this donut shop on the way to-and-from my son’s school that has the best powdered donuts in the city! They are the size of a bread plate and have a slight crunchiness on the outside that quickly melts in your mouth. My daughter usually asks to stop there once a week and I confess that recently I have obliged her requests. She may only be 2 1/2 years old but the girl has taste!

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? I go to other dad blogs (like yours!) and forums to see how they are dealing with certain issues. It’s always good to see how other dads are handling things and what advice they can offer. Sometimes I ask my Dad. He rarely offers unsolicited advice to me now that I am “grown up” – so if I’m looking for his opinion I usually have to ask for it.

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? I hang out with other dads as much as I can. Most of my close friends are dads. Sometimes we get together with the families and sometimes we go out without them to hear bands, shoot pool, or play golf.

Tell a little about your blog. My personal website is Daddyshack where I blog about life and post my photography. There are links there to the other sites where my blog is posted – the Austin American Statesman, Skinny Moose Media, My FOX Austin, and The Anthill at cre8Buzz. My partners and I also publish an online humor and entertainment magazine at Quirkee. We just published our 100th issue! We have hilarious columnists, funny cartoonists, awesome interviews with bands and comedians, videos, movie and music reviews, and much more. QuirkeeMedia.com is the parent company of the magazine. We also specialize in Joomla! website development.

Anything else you’d like to share? I would just like to thank you for the opportunity to be in the spotlight here on Discovering Dad! With the exception of the standard questionnaires (or meme’s) that get passed around the blogs, this is the first time I have been on the other side of an interview. You have a great series going and a great site, as well. When I started Interviews from the Daddyshack on Quirkee.com, it was to help spread the word about dads in this day and age of new media. I’m happy to see you and others also furthering that cause. The Internet has been a powerful tool for our generation of fathers and will certainly be more important for our children when they become parents of their own. I’m also looking forward to meeting many more dads online and in person.

And congratulations on your new baby girl!

Next week’s Spotlight on Dads features some insights from The Man! I hope you will join me on this adventure!

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published every Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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Spotlight on Dads – Chuck Houghton
Spotlight on Dads – Scott Lancaster
Spotlight on Dads – Dana Glazer
Spotlight on Dads – Tyler Wainright
Spotlight on Dads – James Austin

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