Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series from Discovering Dad that features involved fathers from around the world. The objective of the series is to inspire fathers to connect and learn from one another, while also deconstructing the stereotype of fathers as ‘second’ parents.

This week’s spotlight shines on Joe from Joeprah.com. Joe is a stay-at-home dad, who is also the National Fatherhood writer for The Examiner. He’s a proud father and talented writer, and if you haven’t seen his video posts, you’re missing out on some funny stuff.

Tell a little about yourself. My name is Joe, and I am a stay-at-home dad. Who am I? Lets start with my family. I attribute a lot of who I am not only to my parents, but also to the gene pool from where they both came. My family, on both sides, hale from Baltimore. I grew up in a Catholic environment, and our household saw its fair share of turmoil. I am the younger of two brothers, and I am named after one of my grandfathers. I was born on my other grandfather’s birthday (D-Day). I suppose that gave me an appreciation for where I come from, and a love of history that has stayed with me through the years.

I always have found it easier to share my feelings with the written word. I wrote about everything growing up, the space shuttle Challenger disaster (a poem that was printed in my elementary school newsletter, which I am still very proud of to this day); trees being cut down; and, of course, goofy stuff too. I wound up getting a degree in writing.

As for my family, wow, another hard one to condense. I have three kids (all girls), and I would gladly throw myself in a river of molten lava for them at a moments notice. My wife, she’s the best person ever – humble, talented, funny and a knock-out. We’ve been married for 11 years now.

What about your family background? I did, in fact, marry my high school sweetheart. We married young at 21 & 20 respectively. We are all each other has ever known when it comes to intimacy. We worked our way through college by waiting tables – we rely on ourselves for everything. We are each others best friends. My wife is awesome, and it just came to be that I would stay home when we had kids. Either one of us could have done it well.

I didn’t come from a broken home, but rather one that was riddled with issues. My mom had a nervous break down when I was younger, and it has always been something I have struggled to understand. My brother was also destructive internally and externally when he was a teenager up through his mid-20s. We had to move from a home (my parents dream house) because of some crazy things my brother did that inevitably forced my parents to pay restitution.

My parents fought constantly, and I was quite often forgotten. I knew I wanted to live in a house where people never went to bed angry, and where people could walk around without feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders every day. I learned to be self-reliant, and I have always been the first person to stand up for someone that is getting pushed around because of my past.

“I wanted to live in a house where people never went to bed angry”

What do you like most about being a dad? What do I love most? Hmmm. I like the parts between when we get up and when we go to sleep. That’s about it. I am, by nature, a bit of a poet. I love to observe the goofy things kids do and commentate on just how beautiful children are by being just that – children. I love to laugh, and I think the joy that my daughters have brought me is what I like the most.

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? Keeping a straight face when I discipline them.

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? Most memorable is easy. The births of each of my daughters were all different and all very moving experiences. I can say, without embarrassment, that I cried like a baby when each of my girls were born. My wife and I both did. I don’t think there is any other time in my life that I have been closer to God and my wife than when our daughters came into this world. We had a lot of trouble getting pregnant the first time, and the second time to some degree, so we have been so very grateful just to have kids. We really, quite literally, pinch ourselves because we are so fortunate.

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? That’s tough. I think it is starting to be a generational thing. I am 32, and I think my generation is split down the middle; half thinks that dads can’t boil water and half think that dads are just as capable as the moms. I think that most of my friends (who are all like 5-10 years older than me) have a different ratio that is more like 75% think dads are morons and 25% think dads are awesome, just like the ladies. Things are changing, including the perception of dads. We are working on it right here.

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? The thing I have noticed about being a stay-at-home dad (i.e. wife making the money) to three daughters is that I have been more aware and sympathetic to the plight of women in today’s society. I have been feminized in a way, being surrounded by ladies, and that is a good thing. I root for my girls to grow up a society even more fair than the one we currently live in because I know it’s possible. Overall, to answer the question, I am just more open than I used to be when it comes to looking at a problem from more than one angle.

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? My awesome wife. Period. We always look to one another for insight and advice, and we usually can bang our heads together and figure stuff out on our own.

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? I hang out with dads and moms. Mostly we see each other at functions our kids both attend, but outside of that arena, I hang with other dads pretty regularly. We play poker (ladies too though) almost every weekend, from spring to fall we play golf about once a month. When football starts up, we do a rotating Monday night football club. We talk, eat, drink, relax, play sports and, generally, have a great time together. We have a tight community, I am very thankful.

Tell a little about your blog. My site Joeprah.com started out of a playgroup actually. A close SAHM friend told me I should do something with writing, since I had the degree. She convinced me that writing about all the crazy stuff that happens to a SAHD would be good reading. I had been keeping a journal (loosely) up to that point, and I took her up on the idea. I owe her all the credit…except for the content and everything else. My site is awesome. I think it is first humor and second parenting. I love to write things that make me laugh. I like making movies with my kids because I truly want to see if other folks find them as entertaining as I do. I enjoy the outlet that writing provides to me, and I view what I do with my site as part therapy, part awesome.

Anything else you’d like to share? I would like to say I love my wife and kids, and I consider myself to be a blessed individual. I have tons of friends all around me at the home front, but also with all my online pals that I have grown to know in the past year, since I began blogging—you included Jeremy.

Next week’s Spotlight on Dads will take us to WAR! I hope you will join me on this adventure!

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published every Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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Spotlight on Dads – Chuck Houghton
Spotlight on Dads – Scott Lancaster
Spotlight on Dads – Dana Glazer
Spotlight on Dads – Tyler Wainright
Spotlight on Dads – James Austin

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