Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series from Discovering Dad that features involved fathers from around the world. The objective of the series is to inspire fathers to connect and learn from one another, while also deconstructing the stereotype of fathers as ’second’ parents.

This week’s spotlight shines on Matt from DC Urban Dad.  As a relatively new dad, Matt is discovering all kinds of things about fatherhood and the challenges of bringing up a child in a big city.  Although he does have some previous acting experience, he’s learning fast that there is no script for the role of dad.

Tell a little about yourself. I’m, Matt, otherwise know as the DC Urban Dad. I am 32-year-old, first-time father of a 3-month-old daughter. My wife Amy and I have been married for just over 8 years and for the past 5 years we have lived right in the heart of Washington, DC. We both work full time and are learning the ropes of parenthood day by day. It has been quite the exciting adventure.

Early on while in high school, I fell in love with acting and the theater. I took that passion into college and went even as far as to get an agent.

After one bit role in a feature film called an An Occasional Hell (very bad movie, seriously very bad – but I got a trailer with my name on it) I spent a summer living in NYC – I wanted to know what it felt like to live the life of a true actor. It was there that I finally woke up to the real world and shifted my goals a bit. Today, I run a small team that builds online ad products at a rather large online news publisher in the area. Instead of acting, I use blogging to satisfy that creative outlet.

What about your family background? I am originally from the eastern part of North Carolina, but I was born in Holland. Growing up in rural NC, we were the only family with wooden shoes. But hey, I got presents on the 5th of December (Saint Nicholas Day) and Christmas. That is one tradition I am looking to carrying on with our little one.

My wife and I met each other at UNC Chapel Hill. A few years after college, we officially got hitched. With my wife in law school, I had to step up and do quite a bit of the planning. I had a hand in everything minus flowers and dresses – that’s right guys can plan a wedding too.

We have been in DC for 5 years and although we both love this city and have rooted ourselves here, we are constantly faced with the question of whether or not to move closer to our families (both in NC). It is one that is only going to get harder as our daughter grows older.

What do you like most about being a dad? What I like best about being a Dad is watching her take in the world around her. She takes in everything in with absolute wonder – eyes wide open and mouth gaping. Everything is so magical – even the most mundane objects – trees, stop signs, cars, fruit, etc.. I wish we all could maintain that innocence and appreciation for the world.

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? I have found that maintaining balance is the most challenging part of being a dad. It has been a learning experience trying to balance the different roles I am faced with – father, husband, son, brother, boss, employee, friend, etc. – while at the same freeing up some time for myself. Along those lines, I tend to be one who takes on lots of projects and constantly likes to be doing something. Often times I find it hard to let go of something that, quite frankly, just isn’t as important as spending a few minutes reading a book or having tummy time or taking a walk with my daughter.

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? This one memory will always stay with me – the first time my daughter smiled at me. I had a horrible day are work and came home beat and frustrated. While on a family walk, she flipped her head around in the Baby Bjorn and threw me her first smile. My day was instantly made better and all was forgotten.

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? In the past, dads have been seen as the protectors, the financial providers or the enforcers. The times have definitely changed and our role as a parent is continuing to evolve. Now I believe we are being viewed as more equal partners – nurturers and active participants in our children’s lives – able to change clothes, diapers, wash clothes, bathe the children, read stories and so on.

I love being active in my daughter’s life and would not trade it for anything. Before she was born, an older gentlemen shared some “advice” with me – it was simple – sleep in separate rooms if your wife is nursing. You know, to each his own, but I could never bring myself to do something like that. It would feel like I am deserting my family.

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? Two words: patience and communication. Unfortunately, those are two traits that don’t really run in my family genes. Being a dad has made me realize that in order to stay married and keep our family together patience and communication are going to play a huge role. Sometimes I just have to roll with the punches and explain to my wife what is on my mind. Holding it in only makes matters worse. But it definitely isn’t something that you work on once and it is done. I have to constantly work on it.

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? As a new father, I lean on pretty much anyone who will give it to me straight….but for the most part I lean on my father and brother-in-law. They are both kick butt dads that love their kids. They are very compassionate and would do anything for them.

Of course the blogosphere has opened my world up to a host of other daddies and mommies. I realize that not every piece of advice will do the trick, but I have learned to listen and evaluate before I judge and make up my mind what will work for us.

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? My sphere of daddy friends is definitely starting to expand – mostly thanks to the moms my wife meets. But honestly, right now, I really don’t have the time. I work full time and the free time I do have is really dedicated to my kid, wife, staying healthy and relaxing. I am thinking of starting a Daddy breakfast club in the area so if anyone is in the DC area and wants an omelet or a bagel or just some coffee give me a shout.

Tell a little about your website. I first started my blog DC Urban Dad as a funny way to let my friends know we were expecting. But I started thinking, why not really explore this world a bit. It has been incredibly cathartic and entertaining. It has made this giant world seem so small and intimate.

Anything else you’d like to share? Thanks Jeremy for inviting me to participate. It has been a blast to share a little part of me with your readers. I welcome anyone reading this to stop by my site DC Urban Dad and follow along with my journey. If you want to contact me or have any advice please do share.

Next week’s Spotlight on Dads will feature a Santa dad (Santa Rosa that is)! Come back and learn more about another involved Dad. Make sure you don’t miss it – Subscribe to get free updates.

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published each Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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