Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series from Discovering Dad that features involved fathers from around the world. The objective of the series is to inspire fathers to connect and learn from one another, while also deconstructing the stereotype of fathers as ’second’ parents.

This week’s spotlight shines on Whit Honea from Honea Express.  Whit is a writer and work-at-home-dad, and he resides in the LA suburbs.

Tell a little about yourself. I’m married to Tricia, a lovely and stubborn lady, and together we’ve managed to create two of the most awesome people to every track carbon footprints across this world of ours. Atticus just turned 5 and Zane is two.

I’m a struggling writer/successful blogger, you decide. Over the years I’ve had more jobs than I can count (I’m not that good at math), but the dream of being a writer has remained constant. I’ve had a handful of poems and short stories published, a couple garnering some critical attention, which is nice, but praise doesn’t put food on the table. One of my short stories is currently being worked into a screenplay which I’m co-writing, so there’s that. I feel good about it, but it’s a tough business so I’m not holding my breath.

What about your family background? I’ve never been called a work-a-holic, but since I’ve started blogging for a living and moved into Work-At-Home-Dad status I find that I put more hours into my job than I ever have - as in every waking one that isn’t spent playing with the boys.

As for the story of meeting my wife, let’s just say it involved a bar, two-for-one night and a bouncer.

What do you like most about being a dad? Just about everything. I love the excitement as much as I treasure the melancholy. It’s an E-ticket ride, that’s for sure.

I suppose if I were to pick one thing it would be the companionship my boys offer. I’d rather be with them than anyone else, no offense to everyone else. They are incredibly sweet, funny and insightful. I find myself watching them and seeing bits of myself before I became a cold and callused contributing member of society, and I can’t imagine being anywhere else.

What do you find most challenging about being a dad? Just about everything. Oh, wait, I used that answer already. I think the hardest part of fatherhood so far has been the first few months after childbirth. Of course the rewards outweighed the hardships, but I was never comfortable with that feeling of helplessness I had during the period were communication is nothing more than cries in the night.

What’s your most memorable experience(s) so far as a dad? I’ll jump on board with a lot of the other guys and say the most memorable experience as a dad is the first experience as a dad - the birth. Holding the boys just moments after they were born, not having known their gender prior to their arrival, it still feels surreal.

In general, how do you think dads are perceived? Why? I think dads have a lot of stereotypes thrown on them. There is the bumbling idiot, Mr. Mom type, and then there is the militant, over-achieving coach type, when in fact I think most of us are in between. That isn’t to say I’m not an idiot or that I don’t push my kids to reach their goals, but most dads aren’t characters of fiction - they’re guys that have kids.

Most dads aren’t characters of fiction - they’re guys that have kids.

How has the experience as dad helped you discover something new about yourself? I learn something new everyday - it usually has to do with the extent of my patience. A lot of times it isn’t so much discovering something new as it is remembering something I’ve forgotten. Kids are a refresher course in innocence.

Who do you go to for advice about fatherhood? I’m not an advice guy. Sure, I’ll listen to what other people have to say, but at the end of the day I’m doing it my way. I do love to offer advice though, usually unsolicited. In fact, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about…

Do you hang out with many other dads? If not, why? If so, what do you do together? I don’t hang out with anyone. It’s usually just me and the boys, and Tricia if we’re lucky. When we do manage to be social it’s generally family-oriented and there are other dads involved. I’ve actually met some great guys through “daddyblogging,” and we’ve been able to get together on occasion for barbecues and theme-park visits. We drink beer when available.

Tell a little about your website. I write for quite a few blogs. My personal site is Honea Express. It started, as a lot of parenting blogs do, as a means to keep my family updated on the boys (boy at the time). I blogged in relative obscurity for over a year before I even knew that other parenting blogs existed - I thought they were all knitting and porn.

My site is primarily about the boys, usually humorous (I hope), although I am prone to going on tangents and bits of melancholy from time to time. It is, as they say, how I roll.

Anything else you’d like to share? Here’s the thing, I can clamp it down here or keep talking for hours. Out of respect for you and your readers I’ll go with the clamp.

Thanks a lot for the opportunity, it was fun!

Next week’s Spotlight on Dads will take us someplace Noo! Come back and learn more about another involved Dad.  Make sure you don’t miss it - Subscribe to get free updates.

Spotlight on Dads is a weekly series published each Saturday on Discovering Dad. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section. Your feedback and recommendations will help to shape this series. Thanks!

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