I’ve always had a hard time dealing with people who immediately think the worst about others.  These are the people who see, hear or read what you say and automatically start looking for the flaws, faults or folly of you or your opinion.  Nothing seems to make people like this happy, except for tearing others down, and when confronted with this type of behavior it brings out a side of me that just wants to crush them.

I’m not talking about physically harming these people – I’m talking about mental and emotional annihilation that results in a severe ego check and blow to their self esteem. It triggers a “kill” switch in me that is really hard to turn off. I often have to remove myself from the situation before I say or do things I might later regret.

Many of you who are regular readers might be surprised by this statement coming from me, as I am frequently advocating positive actions, tolerance, praise and behaviors that maintain and enhance self esteem. I do support acting in a positive manner with everyone who shows even an ounce of humility and care for someone other than themselves.  I also try to role model positive behavior and actions to my kids on a consistent basis, as well as teach them to do the same.  Personally, I want to live in a happy world and surround myself with positive people.

The problem is that there are a lot of unhappy, angry and self-centered people.  Selfish bastards don’t deserve my praise or tolerance, and petty people don’t deserve my time. Does that make me a bad person for feeling this way? I don’t think so, but I try to solve this problem by steering clear of known complainers as much as possible.  It’s hard to avoid these kind of people though – I seem to find them everywhere.

Here’s a few real life examples from this past week:

I have an acquaintance that I need to deal with often for work.  Once she makes up her mind about someone, she will never change it.  She loves to complain to me about how horrible another co-worker is to her and others on a regular basis.  I’ve never had a problem with this other person that I could not resolve, so I’ve tried to help find solutions in this situation for both of their sake.  She doesn’t want to hear it, yet she wants to continue complaining to me about every little thing.  To me, this is petty BS and I don’t have time for it.  As a result, I’ve noticed a strain in our “friendship” due to my irritation, and I’ve started avoiding her. I don’t want to be around people who always complain.

I have several friends who love to complain about local and national politics.  Apparently, according to them, there is no such thing as an honest politician and the entire government exists to screw them out of their money.  During the Democratic and Republican Conventions, they found fault with just about everyone.  It seems ridiculous to me to sit around bitching and moaning about something so passionately, yet when someone (me) challenges you to get involved and be part of the solution you’re “too busy.”  Well, you get what you pay for, so to speak, in my opinion.  Half of these guys don’t even vote.  Their arguments are so asinine and one-sided that it’s hard for me not to pick them apart piece-by-piece.  If you don’t like it, do something about it….other than complain.

I wrote a fun blog post about the tradition of new dads giving out cigars after the birth of a child.  I solicited input from several of my dad blogger friends about recommendations for good cigars, and many of them responded saying they don’t smoke cigars but it sounded like a fun post.  A few sent me recommendations, and I included them in the article.  After the article is posted, I get several Twitter messages saying how horrible it is to celebrate the birth of a child by promoting throat cancer.  WTF!?! Nothing like taking an over-exaggerated and extreme point of view, not to mention twisting the hell out of the intent and nature of the post.  These extreme positions make me want to throw a verbal bitch slap on people, but I did my best to resist and politely reminded people that one or two cigars are not likely to cause throat cancer or addiction or anything else destructive.

These are just a few of the examples of irritating or irrational people that I’ve had to deal with over the past week.  In every situation, these people have either tried to drag me down into the mud with them or push me into the mud to make themselves feel better. Either way, it was unnecessary and it pissed me off.

I’d gladly sacrifice my own dignity to help a friend in need, but when someone tries to belittle me (or others in my presence) I will stand firmly opposed to them and their actions.  Nothing brings out the warrior in me more than idiotic complaining, extremism or petty criticisms designed to guilt or shame others.

Am I the only one who feels this way?  Does anyone else’s blood boil when they witness things like this?  Why is it so easy for people to criticize yet so hard for them to praise?  When you hear people constantly complain, does it make you want to lay the verbal smack down?  Please tell me that I’m not alone here – leave a comment now.

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